Dear Madam,

Please forgive me for “sneaking” up on you like that. I could tell I scared you by that look of terror in your eyes and the sharp intake of air you took when you spun your head around to see who was behind you. I know that crossing the parking lot in front of Ralph’s grocery store is wrought with tension. I should have known better than to get closer than 15 feet. But, you see, my arms were full of groceries and you were directly in my path to my car. I also was not paying attention to you. My mind was on whether I should open the box of Cheez-its and eat some on the way home – even though I knew dinner would be happening soon. And, while women have had reactions to me that I would rather forget, this was the first time I didn’t even have to open my mouth to elicit such emotion. (Well, there was that one time when Mrs. Ballinger, my fifth grade teacher, kicked me out of the room for making googly eyes at Stacy Adams, but I don’t think she was angry – she just wanted to teach me a lesson.) Anyway, I digress. I just wanted to apologize. No hard feelings, okay Next time I’ll be much more careful about where I walk in the parking lot… in broad daylight… with lots of people around. My fault. It will never happen again.

Sincerely,

Matthew
“Nice Guy”