Today we attended a class called Multiple Expectations. I imagined when we signed up that it would be the panacea of all dilemnas. I hoped that after taking this class I would feel 100% ready to tackle two babies at one time. Unfortunately, we don’t always get what we want. The class was only one and a half hours and the first hour or so was entirely about how to tell if you go into preterm labor and what to do about it. We had pretty much gone over this in our birth preparation class so it wasn’t new.

I wanted to know how to parent twins - AT THE SAME TIME! It turns out it’s just like parenting one child - except it’s twice the work.

The one thing that I really want to find a solution to - that will make me feel easier about all of this - is what is the best solution for breast feeding two babies at once Basically she told us what we already knew - breast feed them both at the same time or Andrea will never stop feeding. I asked how can we get ahead of the game How can Andrea express enough milk, while simultaneously breast feeding both, so I can help out by bottle feeding one From her answer (”Yeah, that’s gonna be tough”), I’m guessing she doesn’t think it can be done. Perhaps we’ll have to mix in a little formula at first to allow Andrea to stock up a bit. Or maybe the breast milk fairies will be kind to us.

Or maybe we can just strap Andrea down and she can feed babies non-stop for the first 3 or 4 months.

We had yet another birth preparation class on Friday. Our instructor has a good sense of humor and injects her stories with humor to ease the tension. This night was no different. The discussion topic was Cesaerian Section births.

As you can imagine, hearing about how a C-section happens makes most hope they will never have to experience someone cutting through five layers of tissue to get to the babies. As she was wrapping up her story she forgot about one important detail that we might want to know in advance.

Instructor: “Oh yeah, as they are cutting you open, another doctor is cauterizing the incisions to reduce blood loss. It will smell like something is cooking. That something is your wives.”

I stayed home from work today due to a nose that has been running non-stop for the past 36 hours - despite a strong dose of Sudafed.

Andrea called on her way home from work to see if I wanted her to pick up dinner. I told her I wanted KFC Chicken Strips. KFC is in a shopping center near her work. There’s also a McDonalds and numerous other stores.

A few minutes after I told her I wanted KFC chicken strips, she called again.

Andrea: I’m in the drive-thru at McDonalds! I thought it was KFC! What do you want

Me: (As I hear “Welcome to McDonalds, can I take your order” in the background) Um, okay, I’ll take a double quarter pounder with cheese meal.

Andrea: I only have $5

Me: Okay, I’ll take a #2 (two cheesburger meal).

Andrea: Okay, bye.

So, Honey, just blame it on the pregnancy. And be glad I know that a #2 Value Meal at McDonalds costs under $5.

We had our birth preparation class again last night. This time the instructor went into great detail about the how, when and why of an episiotomy. Now, while most of the women had a look of discomfort on their faces, the men took it a step further. Lets just say the men’s body language was a bit more pronounced - crossed legs, slightly bent at the waist.

We men all assumed the same position about a half hour later when we began talking about circumcision.

I have been struggling with what to name our babies when they finally greet us sometime (hopefully) in June. I have decided if we can’t come to an agreement with something then we can always use the old Dr. Seuss standby, Thing 1 and Thing 2.

It’s a unique name and I haven’t seen it in any of the baby name books. I think it will catch on. All it’s waiting for is for someone to use it once. We could be that family!

If you would like to order your own Thing 1 and Thing 2, go here.

On a California Freeway this weekend, we were driving behind a truck for a company called Crime Scene Cleaners, Inc. The truck told us they specialize in homicides, suicides and accidental deaths. I found their website. If you’re interested, you can get your very own Crime Scene Cleaners merchandise to show off to all of your friends.

It’s Valentines Day and, as you can see,
The day has brought out the poet in me.
So here is a present from your husband Matt’
As I sit on the chaise with Nutmeg the cat

I’m so lucky to have you here in my life
I love the fact that you are my wife.
I’m thankful to have you, you’re a gift from above
To share laughter and kisses and hugs full of love

In just a few months our lives, they will change
And the fact that there’s two still seems a bit strange
And know that I’ll be here, so don’t get too frantic
As your beautiful belly becomes more gigantic

You’re gonna be a great mom, with that there’s no doubt
And I can’t wait to figure this whole parenting thing out
We’ll teach them to love, to be respectful and true
We’ll teach them to sing and play the kazoo

So hang in there hon, you’re doing just great
Before you know it, will come the due date
So while you’re waiting, try not to be blue
And always remember that I love you.

Today we had our second childbirth preparation class. We watched a movie featuring two couples having babies. It was documentary-style and we learned how the couple dealt with all of the highs and lows of labor.

During a break between contractions (which the native Spanish-speaking mom-to-be very cutely called “constructions”), they discussed changing diapers of the baby.

The husband, bashedly pointed out that he “practiced on the cat.” The mid-wife, laughingly said, “Well, if you can diaper a cat, you can diaper anything.”

Somehow I don’t think Nutmeg will go along with that plan.

Unfortunately, we didn’t get a face shot of our baby girl. Next time!

Babies at 20 weeks