Since finding out we’re expecting babies, words that used to be normal, every day words that I wouldn’t think twice about, have suddenly taken on more meaning. Here are some examples…

1) Nursery. Now, did you think of a place where you can buy plants or a place that you spend hours painting, putting together furniture and that someday soon will smell like diaper rash cream, or if you’re not breast feeding, something much worse (Because, who are we kidding, there ain’t no such thing as a non-smelly diaper container)

2) Butt Paste. Speaking of diaper rash cream… Before I started frequenting the baby aisle at Target, I would have thought Butt Paste was a gag gift at a 50th birthday party. But no, it’s an apparently highly regarded cream for diaper rash. I’m gonna purchase a lot of Butt Paste just so I can go around saying it. Butt Paste. BUTT PASTE. “Honey, could you hand me the Butt Paste”

3) Bottle. In my college days, a bottle was something you looked forward to hitting when finals were done or when you got a good grade on your test or, if you’re like my brother, made it to class that day. Now, I hear the word bottle and I’m wondering if it has a slow, medium or fast flow nipple.

4) Crib. Now, I don’t usually refer to my house as a “crib” but now that we shelled out a boat-load of money for two cribs, we might as well be making another mortgage payment.

5) Breasts. I’ve never talked more about breasts than in the past six months - and I was a member of a collegiate sports team where breasts seems to always be one of the top two topics of conversation. I have even accompanied my wife to the department store to purchase bigger bras. Normally, I would have been excited about this change of events but, sadly, both breasts are already reserved.

6) Free Time. I used to have “free time.” And I know that when the babies come the concept of “free” time will be even further removed from my lexicon. However, Spring Training has already started, the babies are still 3 months away, and I can’t even tell you who the fifth starter of the San Francisco Giants will be. It’s sad, really.

7) “Honey, do I look big” Now, this has taken some getting used to. Like all men, I have always avoided this question like the plague. Now, there’s no getting around it. Andrea is indeed, getting big. Way big. Like Mount Everest big. She’s so big the cat keeps looking for her lap. Of course, I can say with all honesty that it’s the most beautiful sight that I have ever seen. I love that belly!

8) Every song with the word “Baby”. Do you realize how many songs have the word “baby” A lot. Like every other song. Now, I have never actually heard anyone that I personally know call their significant other “baby.” But I guess, when it comes to singing, it rolls off the tongue better than “honey bun.”

9) Paycheck. Now we used to have paychecks that were more than big enough to live comfortably. But now, with a rather large mortgage and impending child care payments, I may have to teach Andrea the tricks I learned in my graduate school bachelor days (Honey, did you know that if you mix tuna with the Top Ramen, you can save half for tomorrow night’s dinner)

10) Family. This word has always meant a lot to me. I have always been very close with my immediate family and I will always love and cherish them. But now, the word Family is taking on even greater meaning. I’m starting my own family with my wife and two beautiful babies. How very, very fortunate I am.