This weekend we finally purchased our cribs. Actually, we purchased them the prior weekend but since we are the last people on the face of the earth not to own a vehicle that seats a small army, we didn’t have any way of getting the cribs home right away.

We solved that problem by appealing to our good friends Chris and Kristie who gave half of their Saturday to getting our cribs. We’re lucky to have such good friends. Although, I did notice that no one offered to help me put them together. I mean they may be good friends but that doesn’t mean they’re crazy! Everyone knows that putting together a crib is similar to assembling the human genome - a lot of patience and a lot of guessing at where things belong.

At least, that’s what I’ve heard. Having never been down this road before I was assuming the worst - especially after attending our “Multiple Expectations” class where the guy next to me claimed how difficult this crib building thing was. “All I can say is that the second crib was easier to assemble than the first.” he said knowingly.

So, it was with great trepidation that I tackled the cribs. I took them out of their rather large, bulky boxes and pulled out the instructions and the little baggie of bolts, nuts and wooden pegs. I noted they had the same hexagonal screw head that requires the use of an Allen wrench. Luckily since I’m an expert IKEA furniture assembler, I recognized the need for my trusty Ryobi cordless drill with the Allen wrench attachment. With that in hand, I went to work - ready to spend countless hours deciphering directions that were printed in Latvia, aligning mis-aligned holes, searching for missing parts, and encountering all kinds of mayhem.

I was done in 45 minutes.

That’s right - my life has come down to bragging about how fast I put together cribs.

Stay tuned for next week when I chronicle my amazing ability to hang a wall paper border.