My babies are growing up. About a week or so ago we came to the sad realization that TheMonk would have to graduate from his newborn diapers to a Size 1 diaper. Andrea and I were both caught off guard as this milestone is not mentioned in any of the 1,562 parenting books we have collectively read. There is no spot to record this event in the baby books we bought either. Size 1 diapers already?! What’s next, renting a tuxedo for the prom!?

We went through, what Elizabeth Kubler-Ross calls the five stages of grief:

1) Denial. I know TheMonk has soaked his onesie about five times today but maybe it’s because I’m not securing the diaper tight enough.

2) Anger. These damn diapers! I paid good money for these things and I expect these things to work better than the Hoover dam!

3) Bargaining. “Come on, Buddy, quit peeing out the side. I’ll give you ten bucks, for every dry onesie.”

4) Depression. “Sigh. I don’t care anymore. Pee wherever you want.”

5) Acceptance. Okay, this diaper looks like a fig leaf on a greek statue. Perhaps it’s time for a bigger diaper.

Now, Swee’Pea is starting to leak out of her Newborn diapers. Last night Andrea tells me, “I think it’s because we’re using the cheap diapers… And we’re not securing the diaper tight enough.”

Okay, Honey, Okay.

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BTW, to confuse the matter more, Newborn diapers are advertised to fit babies between 4 and 10 lbs. (1.8 – 4.5 kg for my metric friends). Size One diapers are advertised to fit babies between 8 and 14 lbs. (4 to 6 kg). I’m afraid I need less ambiguity when it comes to my diapers. I’m too sleep deprived to make the decision of what diaper to use on my 9 pound baby.