12:45 a.m. – TheMonk wakes up for the first time. I quickly put him back to bed.

1:45 a.m. – Swee’Pea wakes up for the first time, screaming. I comfort her and put her back to bed.

2:45 a.m. – TheMonk wakes again. Put back to bed again.

3:30 a.m. – Swee’Pea wakes screaming. Put back to bed again.

4:00 a.m. – TheMonk’s nose in clogged. Won’t go back to bed. Put him bouncy seat and he falls asleep.

5:45 a.m. – Andrea’s alarm goes off.

6:00 a.m. – Start getting babies up to breastfeed as Andrea gets ready.

6:20 a.m. – Babies are on breast while dad makes coffee and oatmeal for the adults.

7:10 a.m. – Andrea leaves for work.

7:30 a.m. – Babies are still adjusting to end of Daylight Savings Time, take unexpected nap.

8:15 a.m. – Swee’Pea wakes up and therefore wakes J.T. up. They go in the kick-n-play to play for a while.

8:30 a.m. – Daddy realizes he has to go to the bathroom (and not the quick, stand-up variety, either). I’m in a conundrum. I think back on MIM’s experience and am thankful they’re not mobile yet. I decide to use the toilet closest to the loft and keep the door open. Fastest bowel movement ever.

8:50 a.m. – Babies get tired of kicking ‘n’ playing. I put them on their backs in front of me and take turns giving them raspberries. They seem to like this. I then lie on my back and pick them up one at a time and move them above me in the air while making airplane noises. They seem to enjoy this too.

9:10 a.m. – Everyone’s tired. I try to put J.T. into his crib to nap. Swee’Pea goes into her bouncy seat.

9:15 a.m. – After making it abundantly clear that he has no intention of sleeping in his crib, J.T. joins Swee’Pea in the loft in his bouncy chair.

9:20 a.m. – Both are asleep. I go downstairs to rummage for food. I start to look for something semi-nutritious but then I spot the overflowing bowl of Halloween candy that Andrea prepared last night. Ah, what the hell. Chocolate for breakfast it is.

10:00 a.m. – J.T. wakes up and is hungry. I try to distract him a bit longer but I give up and give him his bottle. Swee’Pea follows suit about 10 minutes later.

10:20 a.m. – Back in the kick-n-play for the twins. I suddenly realize I was supposed to start the chicken crock pot recipe by 10:00 a.m. I race downstairs to get the stuff together.

10:23 a.m. – I race back up to calm a screaming J.T.

10:25 a.m. – I race downstairs to finish preparing dinner.

10:28 a.m. – I race upstairs to calm a screaming J.T. Swee’Pea (I wasn’t sure until I entered the room)

10:35 a.m. – With J.T. in his bouncy seat, Swee’Pea and I head downstairs to finish making dinner. She watches from her feeding chair we have yet to use.

11:00 a.m. – Dinner is in the crock pot.

11:05 a.m. – After I clean up, I head upstairs.

11:05.30 a.m. – I run back downstairs to get Swee’Pea who’s still sitting in her feeding chair.

11:06 a.m. – TheMonk is asleep. I put Swee’Pea into her crib hoping she’ll rest too.

11:10 a.m. – I go get a screaming Swee’Pea and bring her out to her bouncy seat to join the sleeping J.T.

11:25 a.m. – Swee’Pea’s not yet asleep. Binky falls out of mouth and she starts to cry. TheMonk stirs, but doesn’t wake as I calm Swee’Pea down.

11:40 a.m. – Swee’Pea finally falls asleep.

11:43 a.m. – TheMonk wakes up. I get him out and we quietly play. I then take him downstairs and he watches me get the front of the house ready for the trick-or-treaters (fog machine, strobe light, caution tape, etc.).

12: 45 p.m. – TheMonk and I head back upstairs. Swee’Pea begins to wake up.

1:00 p.m. – I put them down to play on the kick-n-play once again (love that thing!) as I go get their bottles ready. It’s my job to get them use to the regular bottles (rather than the Haberman feeders they’ve been using ’til now) so I have to go dig them out. I make more formula and fill the bottles.

1:10 p.m. – TheMonk starts to fuss. He’s hungry damnit! I get him into his bouncy seat and hand him a bottle that looks like a straw with a nipple on the end. He doesn’t know what to think in his hungry state but begins sucking at the nipple. He gets it and I can see the formula makes it way from the bottle, through the tube and into the nipple. I can now turn to Swee’Pea. She has a harder time with the newer nipples and is an absolute mess down the front. We get through it, however, and I change their diapers.

1:35 p.m. – We’re now playing again. After a bit of playing, I get out the foam wedges, prop them up and let the babies have their tummy time. Both are doing very well and they extend their heads up like a prairie dog looking out of its hole. Soon, it is evident they are getting tired.

2:20 p.m. – I put them into their cribs to nap.

2:25 p.m. – I bring them out to their bouncy seats where they both sit quietly. Aaaaaah. Peace and quiet. I realize the only food I’ve eaten is from the cocoa family so I head downstairs to fix some lunch. Leftover pork ribs and some chips and salsa.

2:35 p.m. – I bring the food upstairs and sit at the laptop and eat my ribs. The babies look like they are finally asleep. After the first crunch of my chips, however, the babies stir so I decide crunchy food can wait.

2:50 p.m. – Crunchy food or no crunchy food, Swee’Pea wakes up screaming and then so does J.T. I sit in front of them and rock them back to sleep.

3:00 p.m. – Both of the babies are asleep. I sit in the big chaise lounge and relax a bit.

3:30 p.m. – J.T. begins to stir and wakes up. He scrunches up his face as if he’s gonna cry. I rush over and soothe him before he erupts and wakes Swee’Pea. I pick him up and bring him to the chaise with me. He soon falls asleep in my arms. I smell his head. It smells like lavender. We both doze.

4:00 p.m. – Swee’Pea begins to stir. I get both of them up and wake them up a little by playing with them. I tickle and laugh with them for a while.

4:15 p.m. – Mommy comes home from work! Kisses and hugs all around.

4:30 p.m. – Babies breast feed with Mommy while I rest for a little. I take a quick shower too. I want to look my best for the ghosts goblins Darth Vaders out there.

5:15 p.m. – The babies have been fed and changed into their costumes. A flower for Swee’Pea and a Lion for TheMonk (Rooaaar!). We sit them downstairs while we wait for Trick or Treaters. TheMonk and Swee’Pea are big hits with parents and toddlers alike.

6:00 p.m. – Dinner is ready and we eat while dishing out candy.

7:00 p.m. – Trick or Treaters are winding down. It’s time for dinner and bed routine for the babies.

7:45 p.m. – Babies have been fed, cleaned and pj’d. They are finally in bed.

7:50 p.m. – A brief hug and kiss for the wife and we head downstairs to clean up.

8:20 p.m. – Kitchen is clean, Andrea’s lunch for tomorrow is packed. I come up to post this blog.

8:27 p.m. – I’m tired. It was a great, wonderful day. I’m glad it’s over.

What’s that you say? I have to do this again tomorrow? I’m going to bed.