Less than a week before Halloween and we’ve already eaten two bags of chocolate intended for trick or treaters. Actually, that’s not quite true. We’ve almost eaten two bags of chocolate. Early this week I stopped pretending that we weren’t actually eating the candy and pulled the last two pieces out of their bags and placed them on a decorative serving tray that sits on our kitchen island so that I could throw away the superfluous bags. I figured the last two pieces would be gobbled up promptly and that would be that.

But there they sit. One Kit Kat and one mini Twix bar. It’s as if neither Andrea nor I want to be accused of eating the last of the chocolate. I keep expecting to come home and find the two pieces of chocolate gone and then I can say to Andrea, “So, you finally ate the last two pieces, huh?” To which I’m sure she would have a witty comeback about all the wrappers she’s been finding around the house. In fact, she’s probably waiting for me to eat those pieces of chocolate to confirm that it was, in fact, I that ate all that chocolate. (Yeah, right.)

So, there they sit. Tempting me as I walk past them during my kitchen-related duties and suddenly will-power is not in question. I will not be the one who eats the last of the chocolate, I tell myself. Andrea, who is (in a very endearing way) the most stubborn person I’ve ever met, will not eat that chocolate as well. I just know it.

So, with Halloween five days away and our candy supply dwindling to just two pieces I am clinging to the hope that we only get two trick or treaters. But somehow I think the neighborhood kids will be attracted to the house with the large spiderweb in front. So now I have a Plan B. If we do get more than two trick or treaters, I can always take TheMonk and Swee’Pea out trick or treating to get us some more candy. I mean, it’s not like they can eat it or anything.

Do Spiders Eat Cats?