It’s time to reluctantly say goodbye to 2005. 2005, you will be missed. You provided the best gift ever - JT and Bri. But every good year must come to an end. So, I look with hope and wonder to 2006.
For 2006, I have been mulling over the possible New Year’s Resolutions. I could come up with the same old tired resolutions (lose weight, eat better, say “no” to crack, etc.) but now that I have children I have so many new things I need to resolve to improve. And to quote Mark Twain,
“Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.”
So, here’s hoping that this year there are some more potholes on the road to hell. In no particular order, I give you my resolutions for 2006…
I resolve not to blame one of the kids every time I pass gas.
I resolve not to feel guilty that I buy kitty litter for “mulitple cats” when I only have one cat.
I resolve not to say “Who’s your daddy?” more than 2 or 3 times a day.
I resolve not to call JT “Chunky Monk” when he reaches his teenage years.
I resolve not to tell “Bri’s Projectile Vomiting Story of New Year’s Eve 2005” to every boyfriend who attempts to take her out on New Year’s Eve.
I resolve to take JT’s binky away some time in 2006 (Unless, of course, it becomes a huge fashion statement like those neon bracelets everyone wore in the ’80’s.).
I resolve to admit it when a favorite item of clothing is finally too small for JT or Bri.
I resolve to sleep more than six hours straight in 2006. (He He. I crack myself up sometimes)
I resolve not to open my eyes first when I’m pretending to be asleep while putting them to sleep.
I resolve not to call all birds “duck” when JT and Bri start speaking.
I resolve to call a hamburger a hamburger. Not a “hang-ga-bur-ger” just to confuse the kids.
I resolve to read the entire book - not just every other page.
I resolve to tell my wife she’s beautiful just a little more often.
I resolve to be the best father and husband I can be.
I resolve to enjoy 2006 to the fullest. After all, it’s the last 2006 I’ll see.
Happy New Year everyone. May 2006 bring you health, wealth and happiness. Hey, two out of three wouldn’t be bad.
Aw man, you’re taking out all the FUN stuff. Okay, like you’re really going to change your ways.
I give you too much credit.
Comment by ieatcrayonz — January 1, 2006 @ 5:37 pm
You’re not going to call him “Chunky Monk”? You’re not going to tell the projectile vomit story? C’mon now!
My youngest (she’s 12) gave me a fridge magnet for Christmas that says: “I was put on this planet to embarrass my teenagers in front of my friends.” She says I’m living up to my calling really well.
And she still likes me!
Comment by Mary — January 1, 2006 @ 5:41 pm
Glad I found you!
Love the resolutions - they warmed my heart. Now about “confusing the kids”, I will admit that it can be so much fun! Especially once they know the correct word. My husband does it all the time, which cracks our son up! Don’t give it up in it’s entirety.
Happy New Year!
Comment by Andie D. — January 1, 2006 @ 7:04 pm
Happy New Year!
Comment by Becky — January 1, 2006 @ 8:32 pm
I was just looking at everyone’s resolutions when I came across yours. Very funny!!!
Comment by Nina — January 2, 2006 @ 6:29 am
Happy New Year to you and yours Matthew.
I can only assume that since you won’t be blaming your kids as much for the passing of gas, that you’ll be blaming the wife?
That’s what I do…
Comment by Kemp — January 2, 2006 @ 7:37 am
Matthew, Happy New Year! This is a great list. Something your kids will get a huge kick out of someday.
Comment by surcie — January 2, 2006 @ 11:43 am
Outstanding list of resolutions… I think that I might get to mine sometime before 2007.
As for the projectile puke… keep it in reserve. At least for a wedding toast.
Comment by tpon — January 2, 2006 @ 3:24 pm
I love the list. Don’t give up on the “Chunky Monk” yet. We sometimes still call Nata “Chubba Wubba” and she is 18 months. She laughs every time. ANd the Binky - don’t worry about it too much. I’ve never seen a kid go to kindergarden with it. Enjoy the next year - you will have so much fun. Sometimes it seems like they grow everyday. You’ll do great.
Comment by Melissa — January 3, 2006 @ 4:03 pm