Grandma er, excuse me, Grandmother wanted
If you know my mother (and since she seems to hand out the web address to this site to everyone she knows, I’m sure you probably do), then you’ll know she’s a… bit… unique. She loves a freezing cold house, will throw away anything of importance lying around the house if it happens to be in her cleaning line of sight, and she leaves messages on my blog that make fun of me.
The final straw was her telling the world that I know the words to every song in the movie Grease. Well, I do. So does every other thirty-something person out there (right? C’mon guys, back me up here). I thought about banning her IP address from the site but she’s sly like a fox and would, no doubt, be knocking down doors in the neighborhood just to get her 4-5x a day habit of JT and Bri (seriously Mom, I only update once a day at the most). In spite of her antics, I still love my mom and wouldn’t want her to waste away in jail on the account of needing her JT and Bri fix. On the other hand, it would save a bunch on the nursing home we’ll be sending her to. I hear they even serve whipped cream on their Jell-0!
So, I can’t ban her. But clearly she needs to be kept in check. Now, I know there are probably a lot of big Grandmother fans out there. Some of you, in fact, may be grandmothers yourself. In fact, I am hereby soliciting applications for a replacement grandmother. One that won’t make fun of me on my own blog.
Are you interested in being JT and Bri’s grandmother? Now, granted, you have a high standard to live up to. JT and Bri would be naked were it not for the generosity of this woman. But really, what’s the chance she’ll keep this pace up? Is it too much to ask to have her clothe my children until they’re eighteen? You decide. Take a look at the cute pics on the right. You could be JT and Bri’s grandmother. All applicants will be considered. A thorough background check will be necessary. My only request is you don’t make fun of me on my own blog.
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We won’t make fun of you, but we can tease Grandmother. You could enforce a visit-the-grandkids dress code and make her wear hip-huggers with elephant bells and a T-shirt that says, “Don’t trust anyone over 30, umm, 40, er, 50 …” and make her say, “Peace, man!” every five minutes. In public.
Comment by Becky — January 5, 2006 @ 6:32 am
I’ve got your back. I’m secure enough in my sexuality to say that I also know all the words to the movie ‘Grease’. (Hell, I was even in the play in High School)
In fact, during a commercial in the Rose Bowl last night, I was(being a guy) flipping through the channels when I reached VH1, they were showing… ta-da! ‘Grease’ Did I leave it on? For a while yes, then I went back to the football game but found myself flipping over to GRease every so often. It’s like a train wreck, you can’t divert your eyes.
Comment by Kemp — January 5, 2006 @ 7:43 am
hahaha. my husband, the macho-ist of men, will stop WHATEVER he’s doing to watch grease….and he dances too.
Comment by Becky — January 5, 2006 @ 8:16 am
my kid’s t-shirt would say i’d be naked if it weren’t for sissy (my sister). sisy like to get her shop on for foo and will stop at nothing. too funny.
Comment by bitemycookie — January 5, 2006 @ 9:53 am
I know all the words to “Grease”, too, and I’m under 30. Just barely (my husband is 30, and I think he knows most of the words).
Can I swap my mother-in-law for your mom? My MIL is the sweetest person alive and loves her two grandchildren to pieces (she does bring clothes sometimes when she and my FIL visit - there’s a Carter’s Outlet store on the way in their 2 and a half hour drive to get to us), but she is generally not very helpful (but she does take direction well). She stayed with us after my son (exactly 2 months younger than JT and Bri, and he’s also JT - James, not Jonathan - although I have a Jonathan for a brother - different middle name than your JT) was born, and I think she is genetically incapable of disciplining her grandchildren. My daughter (now 2) had her Grandma under her thumb and actually had my MIL watching her break into a video cabinet while I was on the phone and SAID NOTHING… She changed not one diaper while she was with us. Even my husband (her only child) was shocked as to how much more work she was creating and how she just wanted to have all of the play (like it was one extended sleepover). My mother is the total opposite (my daughter doesn’t mess with her, and she does diapers, laundry, ironing, you name it), so I’m not giving her up, but my MIL is up for grabs.
She’s not really that bad, but just look at the bright side, Matthew - your mom could always be worse.
She could read your blog and not comment, and just bring it up at large family gatherings… like mine does.
Comment by Deanna — January 5, 2006 @ 11:31 am
Matthew- please don’t give up on Grandmother - we really like the idea of getting all those adorable clothes that JT and Brianna outgrow. We’ll be sure and let you know what we are having next week so you can separate the girl and boy clothes for us:)
Comment by Kate — January 5, 2006 @ 12:10 pm
I can’t help myself, its like Kemp said, it’s like watching a train…in my case since I’m in very wet California, it’s like watching a mud slide, you know it’s going to happen and there is nothing you can do about it except watch.
PS. everyone loves the pic of Bri and JT in the sailor garb.
Comment by Grandmother — January 5, 2006 @ 12:29 pm
I’ll see your Grease, and raise you Grease 2.
With underrated classics like “Reproduction” and “Cool Rider” and my personal favorite, “Let’s Do it For Our Country!” it’s my second favorite musical after Paint Your Wagon.
This isn’t doing helping change your impression of me as a gay dad, is it?
Comment by Dutch — January 5, 2006 @ 1:16 pm
Grease 2, Dutch. That’s like imitation Grease. I, however, am proude to say I also every word to every single Grease song! Maybe we should produce our own off-off-off-off-off-off-Broadway version of it! Except, I’d have to play Stockard Channing’s role, Roz. There’s no way I’d be a convincing “Sandy.”
Comment by MIM — January 5, 2006 @ 1:56 pm
hey! just found your site thru technorati. love it.
Comment by k8 — January 5, 2006 @ 2:09 pm
Keep Grandma. She sounds great!
(I’m also a 30-something who knows all the words to Grease.)
Comment by surcie — January 5, 2006 @ 5:46 pm
I’ll support you, man. I know all the words to all the songs in Grease too…even the background music.
Comment by Clare's Dad — January 5, 2006 @ 7:38 pm
Grease was one of the first movies that my parents took me to as a child. I freaking LOVED it! One of my friends had the movie on VHS, and we spent almost an entire summer watching it over, and over, and over…. I know all the words to all of the songs and can still do the hand jive.
P.S. Granny can come to my house. I have a precocious ham of an almost 4 year old boy and a chubby and loveable 6 month old girl. Please!
Comment by Andie D. — January 5, 2006 @ 8:15 pm
Oh, oh, I’ll take her! Because of distance and health concerns, I get no help from either mother or MIL. YOURS sounds like a gem. And the teasing? Well, thankfully I’m not burdened by a thirty-something male ego, so she can tease me all she likes, just as long as she’ll buy clothes for my kids! Maybe we could do a switch: I’m ALMOST old enough to be a grandmother. I’ll be yours and she can be my kids’ back-up gramma!
Comment by Mary — January 6, 2006 @ 4:33 am
:) hehe… I’ll have to pass this on to all the potential “grandmothers” I know out there. But just a warning? Most are like this…
Comment by Corinne — January 6, 2006 @ 7:17 am
If I take the job of grandmother do I get to chuck in my job as mom? Maybe we can swap? I quite fancy being a grandmother and GOING HOME for a good nights sleep after saying how cute/clever the kids are.
I believe they say that grandchildren are your reward for bringing up children:-) I reckon you’ve got a good un there. Any new recruits would have a lot to live up to:-)
Comment by Mrs Aginoth — January 6, 2006 @ 11:51 am
a grandmother here, currently known as “knee-knee” (suppose to be Nanny, but it SOUNDS soooo CUTE when my grd.daughters say it)…..I do SIL & DD’s laundry TOOOOO…..and love every minute of it.
Comment by cindy of Crusades — January 6, 2006 @ 4:37 pm
This is why I don’t let family know I have a blog. My sympathies.
Comment by the weirdgirl — January 9, 2006 @ 11:52 am
come on… I can’t imagine that your mom’s interest in having a little fun at your expense is anything new. Most of these types (like my parents) start early and often.
that said, from what I can see, you are in good company. Most of us know all of Grease, including dialogue… and I will see Dutch’s Grease 2 and raise him a Hairspray.
Comment by tpon — January 9, 2006 @ 3:18 pm
For a grandmother, allow me to recommend: http://rocrebelgranny.blogspot.com/
We just got back from a long road trip from SF to LA — guess what CD my husband brought, and sang along to — and he`s Japanese, for fuckssake! Grease transcends boundaries and cultures for everyone of our generation.
Comment by L. — January 9, 2006 @ 6:13 pm
Funny you mention Grease. Just saw it on the Country Music Channel this weekend (why I was on the Country Music Channel when I live in San Francisco is a whole different story), and me, my wife, my sister-in-law all sang every song. My brother-in-law just looked at me like I was crazy. “Isn’t this a chick flick?” he asked. Obviously, he’s never closely listened to “Greased Lightning”!
Comment by David — January 10, 2006 @ 10:49 pm