WHO THE $*(% ARE YOU?!
We have reached a new milestone in the Childsplayx2 household.
Last night, we had a family friend over to meet the twins for the first time. “Aunt” Patrice is a vibrant older woman who lives locally and has been a great support for Andrea and I as we acclimated to a new city over the past few years. We don’t see each other very often, but when we do, it’s always a pleasure.
However, I’m not sure the babies feel that way.
I happened to be holding Swee’Pea as I saw Aunt Patrice approach the house. I arrived at the door at the same time as Patrice did and I promptly opened the door. Aunt Patrice smiled brightly and looked Swee’Pea right in the eye with a big “Hello!”
Bri began to scream. AAAAAAAHHHHH! She buried her face into my neck and continued to scream. Every now and then she would calm down enough to turn and look at Patrice. Then she would start screaming again.
About this time, Andrea arrived with TheMonk in her arms. Again, Patrice smiled. Again, a baby screamed. This time TheMonk wailed a broken staccato cry that I have never heard before. He was obviously terrified. His face showed a look of fear while his little hands clung to Andrea’s shirt. He looked at me as I tried to comfort him. He was having none of it.
Finally, we managed to calm them down and we fed them as the adults caught up on the past seven months. Eventually, TheMonk warmed up to Patrice and, after a few aborted attempts, allowed Patrice to hold him.
Bri, on the other hand, kept right on giving Patrice the “stank eye” that she reserves for people she’s not sure about. I’ve only seen it a few times (okay, I’ve seen it plenty of times – let’s just say some of these things have to be genetic) but this time was not as severe. Poor Patrice. She never did get to hold Bri.
So, stranger anxiety is alive and well here in our household. Another friend is coming by today so we’ll see how that goes.
Someone tell Grandmother she’s in for a surprise the next time she visits.
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We went through that with The Bean a while back. Now it seems she would walk off with just about anybody who drives a truck– UPS, USPS, Garbage, Fire, etc. I’m real excited about that.
Comment by The Beans Dad — January 29, 2006 @ 9:59 am
My niece is 7 months old and she hasn’t seen me a whole lot. My sister brought her up last week and she wouldn’t have anything to do with anyone except her mommy. She has a sonic scream (extremely high pitched.) My first two children were around a lot of people quite often (my hubby and mom worked at a college and I brought the kids around a lot) so they never really went through much of that since they were so used to many people they didn’t know. My last three all went through that stage though. My last one stayed in it for about a year, but that’s not the usual for babies.
Comment by Julie — January 29, 2006 @ 3:17 pm
One of my kids went through it; two didn’t. It can last from three weeks to…um… a lot longer. Hang tight and keep letting them meet new people. (Hand out earplugs to new people.)
Comment by Mary — January 29, 2006 @ 4:07 pm
The Munchkin had very little stranger anxiety, but it always seemed to manifest itself when she met someone that we actually WANTED her to be friendly to… as opposed to, say, the random checker or shopper at the grocery store or Michaels or Target. People like her great-aunts and great-uncles, for example. At my grandmother’s 80th birthday party, my uncle walked into the room and greeted the Munchkin. She hadn’t seen him since… oh, New Year’s when she was an infant, and this was now Labor Day… she screamed and burst into tears. It took a couple of hours to warm up to both of my uncles (not that I can say that I blame her
). She does much better now (just plays clingy-shy to someone she does know instead of screaming bloody murder).
Baby Boy is following his sister’s friendly example, so we will have to see if he has the same issues as he gets older.
However, she never had any anxiety around her out-of-area grandparents. She saw them infrequently (we now see them at least once a month) for her first year of life, and I was concerned that she would freak out around them. Never happened, much to my relief. It seems that there was always a natural bond that comes with being a grandparent. Either that, or the little rascals just KNOW that Grandma has a present for them and they’d better kiss up big time to get it.
Comment by Deanna — January 29, 2006 @ 6:04 pm
You had swimming pool anxiety. The first time you saw a pool you went ballistic. Your bro, however was another matter, he knew when he didn’t like someone right away. As for grandparents, you both sensed the bond and the presents too.
Comment by Grandmother — January 29, 2006 @ 7:03 pm
Our Number One Daughter had a reaction like that to her preschool and then I walked in on an out of control teacher. We immediately pulled our daughter-obviously. It was awful…she called her preschool, “The yelling school.” She’s in first grade now and loves school-we are very blessed. Hello:) I dropped by your blog via Chocolate Makes it Better. You son is adorable. I read a few of your posts and enjoyed your blog very much. Thanks for sharing.
Comment by Playground in My Mind — January 29, 2006 @ 11:14 pm
All kids have a little stranger anxiety, Matthew. We’ve found that the best solution is for either my wife or I to put their arm around the new visitor to show the kid that this person’s ok. It’s like we’re vouching for them and giving them the parental stamp of approval. The first few times we did this, we were laughing so hard because we didn’t think it would work and because we felt absolutely silly. But you know what? It TOTALLY worked! Give it a try when your little ones meet new people. Let us know if it works!
Comment by MetroDad — January 30, 2006 @ 7:32 am
ha! that’s the exact same reaction foo has to my mother-in-law when she comes to town. she’s the only person foo will breeak down over on sight. hang in there. the crying only gets louder as they get older ; )
Comment by bitemycookie — January 31, 2006 @ 6:55 am