It’s early morning and I have been given a special treat. You both have chosen to sleep in. I have almost forgotten what it was like to wake up on my own. I stir awake and glance at the clock. It’s not quite 6:00 a.m. I lie there, thinking of you when I hear one of you start to stir.

I get up and glide down the hall towards your room. The sun is still minutes away from rising in the east and it’s dark. I head into your room to see which one of you is awake. We still have about 10 minutes before it’s time to get up and my hope is I can scoop up whoever’s awake and spend some one-on-one time before we have to all get up and get ready for our day.

Today, it’s JT who’s decided to wake up. You have turned over, as you have been doing most nights for the past few weeks, and you are on your belly. You don’t see me coming and, before you know it, I’ve scooped you up and we make our way out of the room. We settle into the chaise lounge in the loft and I pull a blanket up around us. I lie on my back and place you on my belly. You look up at me, binky still in your mouth, and we make eye contact in the early morning darkness. You smile as you recognize it’s me you’re with. I smile back and sneak a quick kiss on your chubby cheek. You snuggle your head into my face and we embrace for a few seconds. You lie still with only your fingers lightly scraping my forearm as you play with the hair on my arms. Soon enough, you lift your head and we look at each other again.

“Good morning, Chunky Monk,” I say. As the silence is broken, you smile again and make a low gutteral sound as you reach out with your hand to touch my face. Your little hands dance across my cheeks, nose and into my mouth. I playfully bite your finger. I then suck your finger into my mouth as you giggle at the sensation. I then roll you onto your side and we continue to look at each other. I am struck by how different you look today. Older? Yes. But it’s something else too and I can’t quite put my finger on it. I don’t dwell on it, however. Instead I continue to gaze at you as you again explore my face with your little fingers.

Again, I steal another kiss. I hold you close and I can smell your skin. I inhale deeply as I realize these days will come to an end. I try not to think about the day you won’t want to snuggle with your Daddy. It’s coming, I know. But it’s not today and we both seem content to just lie in the warmth of the blanket and talk to each other. “I love you my little man.” I tell you. By now your binky has dropped from your mouth. At times, this would cause great distress but you don’t seem to care right now. Instead, you lean forward once again. I’m not sure what you’re doing until I see your open mouth approach my face. I turn slightly, giving you access to my cheek. Sure enough, you plant a big, wet kiss on my cheek. As you pull away, we make eye contact and we both smile. You seem proud of your newfound ability to kiss. My chest feels like it will burst with love, joy, and pride all mixed into one.

As I look at you I cannot believe that I’m your father and that you are my son. Words cannot describe the love I feel for you at this moment as I watch you play on my belly. I kiss the top of your head as you rest it on my chest and I close my eyes and cherish the moment. I try really hard to burn this memory into my brain. I never want to forget what it feels like to hold you close, on a cold winter’s morning, just the two of us. In the darkness I am reminded of how powerful love between a parent and child can be.

Suddenly, we both hear your sister stirring in her crib. It’s time to get up and start our day. I carry you into the bedroom and we say good morning to Bri as she looks up at us from her crib. Her bright smile fills the room and I am reminded, once again, how truly lucky I am. I sigh a contented sigh and begin the routine of getting you both ready.

It’s going to be a great day.