I had TheMonk and Swee’Pea by myself today. Everything was going well and we were busy playing in our playroom (formerly known as the “formal living room”). The playroom has two baby gates. One at the base of the stairs and the other, which happens to be right next to the stairs, to the entrance to the kitchen. After an hour of playing, singing, mediating, consoling, and pretending to be asleep (which TheMonk thought was hilarious), I glanced at the clock to see that it was time for a nap (Yay, nap time!). For some reason I can no longer remember, I opened the gate to the kitchen to put something away before I opened the gate to the stairs. Normally this would not be a problem because they seek out danger the way Paris Hilton seeks out publicity. Normally, they head right for the stairs the second I even hint I’m going to open the baby gate at the base of said stairs.

Not today. Instead, they both rush the small opening to the kitchen and I soon realize I’m outnumbered. I dart after TheMonk who is getting much quicker these days. He shrieks and crawls away from me as fast as he can. While I reach for him, I notice Swee’Pea has darted around the other side of the island in our kitchen. I quickly put TheMonk down in the playroom and dart over to scoop up Swee’Pea. I’m certain that TheMonk will have seen his clear path up the stairs and started climbing so I am quick. He’s quicker however and, unfortunately, he’s not interested in climbing the stairs.

Once again, he darts out into the kitchen. This time, I put Swee’Pea on my left hip and reach down and scoop him up, placing him on my right hip. In my mind I picture myself looking like a dueling cowboy on some old western television show except instead of six-shooters on my hips, I have quick-scooters dangling precariously on my hips who are laughing hysterically at the havoc they have wrought.

I carry them into the middle of the playroom, set them down, and then race them to the baby gate leading to the kitchen. I snap it shut and quickly turn to them with a look of victory on my face. “Ha! I win!” I shout.

I point to the stairs and tell them we’re going upstairs to take a nap. Finally, with little other options for danger, they opt for the stairs. They race each other up but the one in the lead always stops to see where the other one is, so the race is close. I declare it a tie at the top of the stairs as I change their diapers and put them to bed.

I head downstairs and realize how tired I am. The babies must be tired too as there is no sound eminating from the baby monitor. I lay down for a few moments, knowing I’ll need to save my strength for round two in about an hour and a half.

It seems like five minutes.