December 17, 2006

Fair Trade

She is oblivious to what her brother is doing as she goes about playing with a bowl and spoon in the middle of the floor. There’s nothing special about this bowl and spoon – in fact it’s the same bowl and spoon that Mommy and Daddy use to feed her every day. Now, however, she is content to pretend she is eating something particularly yummy. She spoons this imaginary delectable into her waiting mouth and sighs with contentment. “Mmmmmmmmmm.” She is perfectly happy playing with this simple, yet satisfying, arrangement.

Then, suddenly, she notices TheMonk playing with a ball on the other side of the room. She doesn’t have this ball. In fact, she notices while inspecting her spoon and bowl, she doesn’t have a ball at all! This simply won’t do. No, a girl like her simply needs a ball. What was she thinking that she was happy playing with a silly old bowl and spoon?! No, she needs a ball. And she knows where to get it.

She gets up, still carrying the spoon and begins to walk towards an unsuspecting Monk across the room. On the way, her mind begins to churn. She knows what she wants. She also knows that Daddy over there will, more than likely, lecture her about sharing or some crap like that. “Blah, Blah, share. Blah, blah, your brother.” That’s all she hears nowadays. It’s enough to make her want to scream!

That being said, she knows nothing good will come of it if she just snatches the ball from TheMonk. She has to come up with a plan. Hmmm. Planning is hard for an 18-month-old. It would be so much easier if she could just take what she wants, whenever she wants. Her Daddy would probably explain that is has something to do with an underdeveloped superego or some other psychobabble. Whatever the reason, she still doesn’t know what to do but she’d better decide fast as she approaches TheMonk. Suddenly, she looks at what she’s carrying. The spoon. Of course! It’s so simple. I won’t just take the ball from TheMonk, I’ll trade him for it.

At that moment she arrives at TheMonk. TheMonk casually looks up from his play, not knowing what is about to transpire. He is oblivious to Swee’Pea’s desire for his beloved ball and his guard is clearly down.

Swee’Pea pauses for a second. She takes a breath and then executes flawlessly. With her right little hand she thrusts the little plastic spoon into TheMonk’s chest. TheMonk, momentarily distracted by what his sister is thrusting upon him, relaxes his grip on his ball. At that precise moment, Swee’Pea’s left hand, with cat-like quickness, snatches the ball from TheMonk. She does a quick pivot that would rival any NFL running back’s and retreats at great haste.

As she runs away, TheMonk has realized the inequity of this transaction and let’s out a cry of protest. Daddy, having witnessed the entire thing moves quickly to intervene and restore a sense of justice. Swee’Pea attempts to outrun Daddy but he’s too quick for her little legs. He pries the ball out of her tightly clutched hand and returns it to her brother. “Blah, Blah, share. Blah, blah, your brother” Daddy says.

AAAAAAAHHH! The little girl cries back. What does he mean “share”!? I traded a perfectly good plastic spoon for that ball. She slumps to the floor in disgust and while clearly upset, slowly regains her composure. She sits pouting, quietly planning her next strategy to get what she wants, whenever she wants.

Man, being 18 months is hard!

11 Comments

  1. That she traded something is a good sign!

    Good going, Swee’Pea! Next time hand him the remote!

    Comment by momto3cubs — December 17, 2006 @ 1:45 pm

  2. I love the voice on this post! Sounds like you’ve got the little kid all figured out :)

    Comment by Sarah — December 17, 2006 @ 11:57 pm

  3. Sounded like a fair trade to me!

    Comment by Kids Furniture Mama — December 18, 2006 @ 6:16 am

  4. I love this post! You got into her little head amazingly well. ;-)

    Comment by Mary — December 18, 2006 @ 8:12 am

  5. I love this insightful post. I can especially appreciate it being the mom of fraternal twins the same age. I think thses types of moments are the sweet reward for all those sleepless nights. Definitely double the fun. Happy Holidays to all of you! mj

    Comment by Meera Bowman Johnson — December 18, 2006 @ 9:13 am

  6. Imagine the fun when it continues when they are four years old. Good Times.

    Comment by misfithausfrau — December 18, 2006 @ 7:36 pm

  7. I laughed like crazy when I read this post. This is just like my house!

    I often think that kids hear adults the same way that the Peanuts kids heard adults – “Bwah wah wah uh rah rah,” etc.

    Comment by Deanna — December 19, 2006 @ 3:24 am

  8. I loved the way you tell this story.

    Comment by William — December 19, 2006 @ 6:28 am

  9. I guarantee it, sometime between the ages of 5-8 TheMONK
    is going to let Swee’Pea have it good!!

    Comment by Aunt Raina — December 19, 2006 @ 3:23 pm

  10. I’m having flashbacks.

    Actually, this kind of thing still happens all the time, but now the yelling of words go along with it.

    Comment by Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah — December 20, 2006 @ 11:52 am

  11. [...] All of this popping has grabbed the attention of a little boy who has been quietly playing with his own toys. Having recently been on the short end of many toy “sharing” transactions with his sister, he is wary of entering into any agreement with her that will result in unpleasant shrieking. Still, the popper looks like a fun toy and, boy, would he like to play with it. [...]

    Pingback by Childs Play x2 — Because having one just wasn’t enough. » The Rise of TheMonk — December 20, 2006 @ 11:17 pm

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