Boy… Girl… What’s the difference?
Dear Son,
I feel like an explanation is in order. You see, having two of you that are the same age sometimes makes it hard on a guy like me. Now I know you are a boy and your sister is a girl and there are obvious differences between the two of you but sometimes I get you two confused.
For example, when you and your sister were about a month or two old, I awoke in the middle of the night to crying. I stumbled over to the bassinet you two shared and found a wet diaper and a wet onesie. I changed the diaper and onesie and stumbled back to bed. The next morning I found you in a pink onesie. I thought I was changing your sister the night before and it had been you all along. Sorry about that.
Another example of the confusion that exists when there are two of you is that I never seem to get your name right. You have been called Swee’Pea many times. You have also been called Nutmeg (the cat) so it’s more me than you. It’s also hereditary. Ask your Grandmother.
But tonight, my dear son, is the reason I am writing you. I owe you a big apology. You see, tonight in the bath you and your sister were there in front of me. Bubbles were all over the place obscuring my vision beneath the water. It is this reason that I mistook you for your sister. I was washing body parts and I got confused and scrubbed your private parts a little harder than any male would like to be scrubbed.
My bad.
I’m pretty sure I didn’t do any permanent damage, though. The fact that your eyes bulged out of your head for a short second suggests that it was uncomfortable but you didn’t cry so I’m assuming I didn’t inflict too much damage.
I’ll try not to make this mistake again. I do want grandchildren someday after all.
11 Comments
RSS feed for comments on this post.
Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.
Whooee! Tears here from laughing so hard. I have four kids under the age of ten and sometimes I am convinced their names are interchangeable.
Comment by OddMix — March 21, 2007 @ 8:27 pm
poor little monk. He will read this one day and have an appropriate come back I am sure. I have been known to put purple sleepers on my son. Its not a mistake. I do it on purpose to harass his dad. I mean if the men shopping at Nordstroms can wear it why not my 10 month old son right?
Comment by archana — March 21, 2007 @ 8:30 pm
Scrubbing and private parts do not really go together.
Comment by William — March 22, 2007 @ 5:27 am
I’m sure TheMonk will forgive and forget…
Comment by Kemp — March 22, 2007 @ 5:43 am
Instead of saving for his therapy, now you need to start saving for infertility treatments.
Comment by samantha jo campen — March 23, 2007 @ 9:46 am
We got called by the dog’s name all the time growing up. I’m not sure what that says about us or the dog.
Poor Monk. I’m sure he’s recovered. An extra cookie or two would probably aid greatly in his recovery.
Comment by Deanna — March 23, 2007 @ 10:14 am
We’re supposed to wash that stuff?
Comment by whit — March 23, 2007 @ 11:47 am
Ouch. (shiver)
It’s all good, I’m sure. Even though I can personally remember each and every time I’ve ever in my life had the jewels assaulted. He’ll still love you. A little less, but there will be some love. Some.
Me, I’m gettin’ old and cranky. Even though #2 is on the way, I’m sure I’ll still be lazy and just call out, “Hey you!” whenever I see one of ‘em…
Comment by L.A. Daddy — March 23, 2007 @ 1:59 pm
I’ve called Dr. Phil and he has an opening for next week. If you want to salvage this relationship, you and The Monk should go. Let’s start the healing.
Comment by Keith — March 23, 2007 @ 8:25 pm
Ha Ha Too funny.
When your son gets older and you find out he might like things a little rough, you’ll have no one to blame but yourself…
Maybe Dr. Phil isn’t such a bad idea.
Comment by ThePapaDog — March 24, 2007 @ 8:24 am
I feel your pain. There are some things that only parents of boy/girl twins can truly understand. Like being stuck out in public with both kids and having our son wet through a diaper and realize that there are only clothes for his sister packed in the diaper back. Maybe our kids can get a group therapy rate.
Comment by Mike — March 27, 2007 @ 8:09 pm