But on the whole I’ve been a saint
I should probably tell you, for posterity’s sake, that earlier this month – right after the new year – we had grand ideas of potty training Swee’Pea and TheMonk. We took them to Babies-R-Gonnaget-Us and we picked out a potty seat. We then picked out underwear. Swee’Pea chose Dora and Princess underwear while TheMonk decided on Lighting McQueen, Mater, and the whole Cars Movie gang.
We bought the little flushable “Todder wipes” that sit in their own colorful little tub for the extra wiping that was anticipated once our little ones decided to unleash their insides into the proper receptacle.
We even bought little stools to help them get up onto their porcelain throne.
And this might be a good time to mention that I was not looking forward to this at all. The thought of peeling clothes soaked in bodily fluids off a toddler while suffering through the sobs of anguish was more than I could bear. Besides, I hate it when I cry in front of the kids.
But I’m a good dad. And good dads always agree with good moms when they say, “I think we should start potty training the kids.” But my heart was not in it. This is the one time where I am really moaning about having twins. If we had just one, then it wouldn’t be such a big deal because the wife and I could trade off cleaning up the mess. We would have only one mess to clean up and the kid would decide when he or she was ready and we’d all do the potty dance and live happily ever after.
With two, it’s messier. With two, one might be farther along than another, not really be ready, but damnit is not going to miss the opportunity to wear underwear with a red car plastered on his behind. Two is more, you see.
But after two days of trying, 12 changes of clothes and three carpet washes later, we threw in the towel (We had to, it was soaked in urine).
So, no potty dances yet. Unless you count the one I did when my wife admitted defeat.
So, do I feel guilty that I wasn’t too into the potty training thing? Yeah, a little. I mean, I’m sure the other kids at daycare laugh at my kids and call them names like Diaper Dude and Daisy Diaper but it won’t be the last time my kids are embarrassed because of their old man.
At this rate, I wouldn’t mind just timing my work breaks to go and change diapers during Kindergarten. I mean, I wouldn’t want the other kids to make fun of them or anything. If only they made a size 10 diaper.
The title of this post is from an 80′s song. Can you name it?
(This is the hardest one yet, in my opinion.)
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The internet maybe ate my comment… if it did, the song is from The Little Mermaid and sung by Ursula. It’s called Poor Unfortunate Soul. If I realize tomorrow it really did (rather than me just being impatient and it having not shown up yet) I’ll rewrite what I already wrote in addition to that.
Comment by Bree — January 28, 2008 @ 11:53 pm
You need potty training rewards. The audio and chocolate treats were powerful incentives to fully potty train our son. Here is the website http://www.pottytrainingrewards.com
Comment by Karen — January 29, 2008 @ 5:33 am
Potty training is such a pain that it’s a wonder we aren’t all still in diapers. Seroiusly.
And I agree with Bree – I don’t know what 80′s song the title is from, but I knew instantly that it was from the Little Mermaid!
Comment by Maggie — January 29, 2008 @ 6:53 am
I hate to tell you, but in my personal experience, and that of almost all of my friends, boys take longer to train than girls. And with twins, one inevitably takes longer than the other. For us, I had one girl done in 3 months, and the other….hmmmm…. 6-8 months. But when they are DONE…. WOOHOO!!!! No more diapers!!! I’ll do that dance with you, again.
Comment by Jay — January 29, 2008 @ 7:10 am
You are a poor, unfortunate soul, aren’t you. I couldn’t imagine it with twins, either. The best advice we got was to let our daughter run around naked outside in the summer time. We also used pull-ups. You went straight to underwear? Wow.
Comment by Undercover Mutha — January 29, 2008 @ 8:01 am
Well, it ain’t Billy Joel.
Potty training? What’s that?
Comment by Becky — January 29, 2008 @ 8:18 am
My daughter will be three in two months and we just got her potty trained. It took two days of changing her clothes before she finally got it. I know it’s totally gross, but stick with it and eventually they’ll recognize how it feels right before they have to go and they will. By the way, pull ups do not work so stick with the underwear. Also, chocolate works very well as a reward for my daughter. The downside is that now I’m going to have to wean her off expecting a treat every time she uses the potty.
Good luck!
Comment by mamafabulosity — January 29, 2008 @ 10:19 am
I’m with Becky….potty training?? My daughter is nearly two and a half and is NOT ready…nor am I….oh well!
Song from Little Mermaid, Ursula sings it
Comment by Tiffany — January 29, 2008 @ 12:17 pm
My daughter was NOT ready to potty train when I was. When she decided it was time, then it was time (she was almost 3). We were really lucky that our daycare provider was super-supportive and she recommended that we go straight to underwear and not use pull-ups. She was willing to change those wet little panties as many times as was necessary and, thankfully, it didn’t end up being very many times once the kid got the hang of it!
Comment by Andi — January 29, 2008 @ 4:24 pm
That’s from the Little Mermaid, but I see I’ve already been beaten to the punch on that one. If you do Disney songs from the 80′s, I’d actually probably be able to get those!
Tad hasn’t been allowed to wear those Cars underwear pairs that Santa brought him yet. Or the Pull-Ups. First, we start with training pants – ugly, white, bleachable things. Then we move up. But first, we decided that we needed to see some actual action on the potty first, which hasn’t happened just yet.
For my money, I’d get Cars Pull-Ups for the Monk (call them “underwear”) and then focus on Swee’Pea for actual training to start with. Girls train easier than boys for a number of reasons, and if he sees her getting rewarded for her potty successes, then it may get him motivated. Then again, it might not.
They do make a bigger diapers. They’re called “Depends”.
Comment by Deanna — January 29, 2008 @ 4:40 pm
Potty training is a nightmare with one child. Trying to do two at once…well, I can honestly say I’m glad it’s you and not me.
(That probably wasn’t so supportive was it? LOL…)
Comment by Redneck Mommy — January 29, 2008 @ 5:21 pm
My son is the same age (within a week I think) of your twins. We potty trained him about a month ago. If they are not showing signs of being ready, don’t even go there. The objective is to make them successful, and if they are not physically or mentally ready, you’re all going to be unhappy. There are a zillion sites out there with readiness lists.
What worked for us? Nakedness and bribes! Who knew! Let them run around naked from the waist down. Natural instinct tells us to not pee on ourselves so you aren’t letting Niagra Falls run around your home. Once they learn to recognize the feeling of having to go and the place (potty) to go, you can introduce underwear and then, eventually, clothing. Every time they go on the potty, give them an M&M.
But you know what? You don’t see too many brides or grooms going down the aisle in diapers now, do you! (Well, unless they are in their 80s and wearing Depends…) Don’t sweat it…it will happen when they are ready!
Comment by daphne — January 29, 2008 @ 7:06 pm
We let the kids try to potty train (meaning pull-ups with no pressure) prior to their third birthday. The day after their birthday, we switched them to underwear cold.
Morgan (our girl) had been dry and going on the potty for quite some time – so it wasn’t a big deal for her. Tanner – who had only gone on the potty once or twice – never had an accident. The little shit was holding out on us…
Still – at almost 4 – he isn’t dry in the morning. I’ll take that, I guess…
Comment by Stacy — January 29, 2008 @ 9:05 pm
Let daycare handle the potty training. Isn’t that what it’s for?
Comment by Darren — February 1, 2008 @ 3:47 pm
Don’t sweat it. Out of my five kids, only one was completely potty trained by the time they were your kids age. AnnaBeth did it all herself about 2 weeks before her 3rd birthday and we are still working with Noelle who is 4, but that is a different story as her bladder muscles are some of the ones that developed slow because of being born early. We don’t have anymore diapers, but I still use pull-ups at night and so far, no dry nights and usually at least one accident a day. Anytime now… I hope.
Comment by Julie — February 1, 2008 @ 9:18 pm
Potty training is one thing I actually have opinions about! But most of them have already been mentioned. Just one piece of advice I heard last week – if you get a poopy accident, a great way to rinse out the poop, is to put the underwear (and any other clothes) into the toilet, hold them up with a toilet brush so they don’t get sucked down, and flush. Great rinse!
Comment by SS — February 2, 2008 @ 2:21 pm
I soooo dreaded the potty training. Daycare HAS helped a lot, but while Brayden will go there, he won’t at home. Baylee’s doing pretty well with it, going whenever I tell her to. She’s not at the point where she’s telling me with 100% accuracy, though. I am content to let this unfold at its own pace.
Comment by Amy — February 3, 2008 @ 6:09 pm
Jay beat me to it: girls train sooner, on average, than boys. About six months, generally. I know that parents of twins develop mob management strategies, but I would suggest that in this instance it will be simpler — and more effective — to do them separately. If one is ready before the other, and odds are good one will be, the one who isn’t ready could find the whole experience very difficult.
You might just get the domino effect, too: the one who’s previously been uninterested (as opposed to not ready) could see all the attention and good stuff that happens with potty production, and decide he/she wants in on that!
Having in the past trained THREE children at once (different ages, all ready at the same time), I will tell you: one at a time is way easier!
Comment by MaryP — February 9, 2008 @ 5:58 am