Dear Beautiful Wife,

As you know, the car that I drive most days is the same car you bought for yourself when you were much, much younger – long before I swooped in and stole your heart and even longer before you spawned matching offspring. That period of time, when you first bought the car, is what we now call “the olden days.” As you may have noticed from the much newer car that you drive now, a lot has changed since you bought the car. For instance, cars nowadays don’t have antennas. They are built into the car. This is notable only because the antenna on my car, which once automatically went up or down when you turned the radio on or off, is now stuck in the “up” position for eternity. Cars nowadays also have radios with all of the knobs on them. They also have something called a CD player. Luckily, I found an old tape in your glove compartment that I can play on my fancy tape deck/radio but one can only listen to Neneh Cherry so often before going crazy.

But today, I found one more reason why we really need to get a new car. You see, it’s not for me. Yes, I’m the only Executive Director in the Y who who drives a car with two hub caps missing, but I can live with the laughter. I’m tough. But today, our little boy, the same little boy that begs to give you kisses and hugs when you leave in the morning, stopped short of the car as I was about to hoist him up and into his car seat (which, by the way, lacks the much safer LATCH system – it’s a death trap really). As I bent down to pick him up, he quickly put both hands on the top of his head and ducked while saying… “Watch my head, Daddy! No hit my head!”

Of course, I tried to calm his fears. “I’m not going to hit your head, Buddy.” I told him reassuringly.

Then, as I hoisted him up, I bonked his head on the top of the interior car door.

Apparently not for the first time. The car, it seems, is too small for our growing kids to fit inside.

So, honey, forget about everything else I’ve said about the car. If you have any compassion and motherly love you’ll let me march right down to the car dealer this weekend and purchase a safe vehicle made in the current millennium.

It’s for the kids.