At which point I choked on my own saliva
It is a dark morning with the first rays of light just making their way into the kids’ bedroom. I quietly pull Swee’Pea out of her crib while TheMonk sleeps. I motion to her brother and whisper for her to be quiet. She nods in understanding and I carry her to the closet where she picks out her own dress to wear. I cannot help but notice, as I help her out of her pajamas and into her pretty pink Hawaiian dress in the quiet of the morning, that my little girl is not so little any more. Her maturity in the moment – understanding the importance of staying quiet, her ability to choose her own clothes, even the way her face looks as the shadows of the dawn stretch across her beautiful face, reminds me that she is, indeed, getting older. I lament this out loud as I sigh and whisper to her while nuzzling her soft cheek, “Swee’Pea. Please stop getting bigger. I am going to miss my little Swee’Pea…”
A few nights later, I am getting Swee’Pea ready for bed. I pull her pajama top over her head and as her face comes into view I am greeted with a serious look upon her face. A face too serious to match our usual bedtime routine.
Our eyes meet and I try and cheer her up with a bright smile. Swee’Pea however, with a face now tinged with sadness, ignores the smile and blurts out a melancholy statement that I cannot ignore… “Daddy, you said I can’t get bigger…”
I suddenly remember our early morning conversation from earlier in the week and I realize how my comment must have really bothered her. How foolish of me to hint to my daughter, who loves me dearly and certainly wants to please me, that she can no longer get bigger. How dare I plant a seed of remorse knowing that she is getting bigger when her father doesn’t want her to. I silently chastise myself for being so obtuse and I quickly think of words that can help explain my feelings in a way that she’ll understand.
“I’m sorry, Swee’Pea.” I say. “I know you are going to grow up. It’s just that I love every minute with you and I know I will miss you when you grow up to be a big, big girl like your mommy. I know you are getting bigger, Swee’Pea and it’s okay.”
I know my words have made an impact because her frown begins to fade. With a noticeable mood improvement in her demeanor she joyfull and loudly exclaims…
“Yeah, because someday, I’m going to get married and have a baby!!”
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Bulls eye! Funny how they find just the right words, phrase or sentence to totally drive that arrow right into our hearts! Nothing but the truth out straight outta’ the mouths of babes. *sigh* Can’t they just stay tiny just a little while longer?
Hugs & Blessings!
Comment by MamáChanga — September 15, 2008 @ 11:03 pm
Hey, at least she’s got her plans all straight for the future! And no choking until you see the bill for the wedding.
Comment by Deanna — September 15, 2008 @ 11:04 pm
Sweet Jesus! Your are always reminding me how ridiculous this parenting thing is. What am I supposed to say now? “No, my kids different, she’s of the magical variety, They stay little forever!” I’m gonna have to turn into that creepy Dugger lady and have 17 kids all while wearing the ugliest clothes imaginable and growing cankles! On the bright side I’ll get my own TLC Special where I can say dumbass things like “Saying there are too many children is like saying there are too many flowers.” Yep you just made me jump on the crazy train, hope you’re happy !
Comment by Loving Danger — September 16, 2008 @ 12:40 am
Thud.
That would be me, hitting the floor, if my daughter ever said that to me.
Comment by SciFi Dad — September 16, 2008 @ 3:57 am
D00D, the proper phrase is “Don’t ever lose the little kid inside you.”
Comment by DustyShelf — September 16, 2008 @ 5:26 am
Oh she is just too sweet. You are such a wonderful dad.
Comment by Stephanie — September 16, 2008 @ 9:10 am
ha. she totally showed you.
Comment by ali — September 16, 2008 @ 10:47 am
Notice that she did put “married” before have babies! That’s as good as a signed and notarized agreement that she won’t pull a Jamie Lyn Spears or Bristol Pallin on ya. That’s got to mean something.
Comment by Anissa@Hope4Peyton — September 16, 2008 @ 5:25 pm
LoL Yeah, she is just so ready to grow up.
I had an interesting conversation with my 4 1/2 yr old the other day. She told me about how she was going to have a lot of kids and she was telling me what names she liked for her kids. Yikes! I couldn’t believe she was thinking like that.
I have to agree that it’s nice to see that she has her priorities straight… married and then babies. You and Andrea are good role models for those little (getting bigger) ones.
Comment by Julie — September 16, 2008 @ 5:53 pm
Super sweet.
Comment by DC Urban Dad — September 17, 2008 @ 9:05 am
Cheer up! In about 2-3 years, she will believe all boys except you (and maaaaaybe her brother) are the ickiest creatures on the planet and should be avoided at all costs.
You can revel in that for a bit until she turns 10 or so.
Comment by Lauren — September 17, 2008 @ 12:53 pm
And just like that, the bottom of your heart falls out.
It’s a bittersweet thing to watch our children grow up, wishing we could keep them small but longing to see the people they’ll grow into. Shame we can’t have it both ways.
Comment by MadWomanMeg — September 17, 2008 @ 3:12 pm
Just think, you’ll be a grandfather.
Comment by Grandmother — September 21, 2008 @ 11:52 pm
Out of the mouths of babes…. wisdom beyond her years.
Comment by Angelique — September 25, 2008 @ 11:04 am