Nice to meet you… booty!
I have learned the having three year old twins can be a great source of entertainment for me. For instance, did you know three-year-olds will pretty much repeat anything you teach them? It’s true. Of course, what’s entertaining for me, is not always entertaining for my beautiful wife. I mean, she has this crazy idea that we should be teaching them positive things. Like that’s any fun.
For instance, lately TheMonk seems to be slowly leaving the 3T sized underwear and heading for 4T land. How I know this is that he’s been picking at the underwear wedged up into his posterior at regular intervals. And since I only buy underwear for myself every five or six years… He might be in this predicament for a while.
Since I figured he should have the vocabularly to properly discuss his uncomfortableness, I explained that what he was experiencing was called a “wedgie.” I did not explain how to use it in a sentence but the boy is smart and has figured that out all by himself. Now, it’s not uncommon for him to announce out loud, “Daddy, I have a wedgie! Fix my wedgie! Daaaa-deeeeee fix my wedgie, please!”
What’s funny is hearing him say wedgie. What’s not so funny is me having to fix the wedgie. I guess my next lesson will be to teach that guy how to pick at his own wedgie.
But I’m not the only one influencing his choice of words. This past week he came home and started saying at random times, out of the blue, “Nice to meet you… Booty!” This always produces a good belly laugh from TheMonk and even his sister has joined in. Lately, however, they’ve been upping the ante by substituting words for certain male and female genetalia or for certain bodily functions for the word “booty.” Let me tell you, it’s not pleasant to have to hear, “Nice to meet you… Poo Poo!” over and over again. So, we have told them we don’t talk about that in public. That it’s private and no one wants to hear about it.
So, now TheMonk and Swee’Pea will announce, “Nice to meet you… Booty!” and then, as an afterthought, announce in an equally loud voice, “We don’t say ‘Nice to meet you… Poo Poo’ because that’s private!”
*Sigh* How do I even argue with that?
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I hosted a party one time and my then 3 year old answered the door for one of the couples as they arrived. She greeted them warmly, then informed them that,”We don’t say shit or shut up”.
Comment by Memphislis — October 24, 2008 @ 9:50 am
Buy the boy bigger underwear, already!
Comment by Grandmother — October 24, 2008 @ 11:05 am
Seriously, the tight underwear is torture
You should definitely audio record some of this stuff. One of the coolest things my sister and I have from when we were little are audio tapes that my parents made from when we were little. But I am sure in this day and age everything is on video anyway. So… forget I said anything.
Kevin isn’t talking so we get all of our hilarious little moments with signs he invents for things. The best is when we are in public and people see him flapping both his hands behind his head and they say: “Aww. What does that mean?” and we have to say: “Well, I do believe that means he just farted on you.”
Comment by Ryan Marshall — October 24, 2008 @ 1:38 pm
Funny Stuff, We’ve found it best usually to ignore our 5 year old son’s occasional use of a bad word. If we make a big deal about it he then finds ways to repeat it.
Comment by Steven at Book Dads — October 24, 2008 @ 5:28 pm
Wedgies are no fun.
Comment by DC Urban Dad — October 25, 2008 @ 4:28 am
Sounds like the boy is practically wearing a thong! I’m with everyone else “time for new skivies”.
Comment by James — October 25, 2008 @ 8:27 pm
You know what’s so weird? I read this post the day you wrote it. TODAY, on our way home from eating lunch after church, my kids started saying “Hey, poo poo” and “Hey, tee-tee” to each other. I made them replace it with “Hey, honey bun” and “Hey, sweetheart.” They quit after that.
Comment by Amy — October 26, 2008 @ 12:47 pm
A relative of mine has three under the age of five. His middle child, who is a bit past two, is in the “talking about poopoo” stage right now.
“Honey, we are going out to a very nice restaurant and we know you’re going to be good.”
“Yes daddy.”
“But we can’t talk about poo poo in the restaurant.”
“OK daddy……………….poo poo.”
I think she’s getting him back for all the toots he blamed on her when she was a newborn.
Comment by P — October 26, 2008 @ 4:48 pm
I’m not sure what’s worse; having them yell out loud that they need their underwear removed from their crack, or having them constantly pulling at their crack when you’re trying to have an adult conversation on the playground bench!
Comment by Dobe — October 27, 2008 @ 6:00 am
“or instance, did you know three-year-olds will pretty much repeat anything you teach them? ”
Oh yeah. I didn’t warn you about that? Sorry.
Comment by Sarah, Goon Squad Sarag — October 27, 2008 @ 1:41 pm