So maybe I’m a sloppy kisser
Over the past several months, as I have written about before, TheMonk has been making it harder and harder for me to kiss him on his cheek.
This has caused great emotional distress to this here father as I have been kissing those cheeks on a daily basis for the last 3 years and almost-five-months. In a sign of desperation, I have tried many methods to get at those cheeks. I have pretended to go for one cheek and while he buries that cheek into his shoulder, he leaves the other cheek exposed and my lightning-fast pucker plants a big kiss. I have also resorted to telling TheMonk that I have a secret to tell him. As I lean in to “whisper in his ear” I change course and plant tons of kisses on his chubby little cheek. I’m not proud that I lie to my son to get at that cheek. I’m an addict and us cheek addicts will stop at nothing to get my daily fix. (“Hi, my name is Matthew and I’m a cheek-aholic.”)
But now TheMonk is going to drastic measures to show me how much he dislikes my kisses. Rather than just the ordinary wiping of the cheek that I have been subjected to in the past, this week, after planting another kiss onto his cheek, TheMonk laid down on the carpet and began rubbing the cheek I had just kissed onto the carpet while saying, “Yuck.”
*Sigh* Perhaps I should just plan my kisses with a little less slobber.
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Ah, that is terrible. To think there will be a day when the boy won’t want my kisses is a sad, sad thought. I feel for you, brother.
Comment by James — November 8, 2008 @ 12:39 pm
Aww! Maybe if you give extra kisses to Swee’Pea and you don’t try to give him kisses (as hard as it’ll be), then he’ll get jealous and want kisses again.
Comment by bleachusd — November 8, 2008 @ 6:58 pm
My name is Christie, I’m a cheek-aholic.
LOL, I LOVE my son’s cheeks. I hope it’s a long, long time before he refuses my kisses. If ever.
Comment by MissB — November 8, 2008 @ 8:01 pm
Tad has been aiming for the lips recently. I still get great joy out of “nom”ing on his cheeks, though.
Comment by Deanna — November 8, 2008 @ 8:47 pm
Sleep time is a great time for catching them… and they won’t be wiped. Just for an extra fix.
Comment by Courtney — November 9, 2008 @ 5:50 am
D00D, there are other ways to convey affection: Mussin’ their hair, thumping them on the chest or back, lifting them into the air, and horseplay in general…
Comment by DustyShelf — November 9, 2008 @ 2:40 pm
Having to give up my daughters cheeks one day I think will break me. They are so damn good. Must go upstairs and kiss them now.
Time to just go for the fist bump. Sorry Dad.
Comment by DC Urban Dad — November 9, 2008 @ 7:07 pm
This is heartbreaking. I’ve seen the Monk’s photos, and I understand your pain.
Comment by Aina — November 9, 2008 @ 9:46 pm
i’m a total cheek-a-holic too. i feel you, 100%
Comment by ali — November 10, 2008 @ 12:19 pm
I will not give up my right as Grandmother to kiss those cheeks…until he has a beard.
It has been suggested that thumping on the chest may be an alternative to the cheek kissing, I THINK NOT.
Comment by Grandmother — November 10, 2008 @ 2:45 pm
Hi Matthew. I’m Issa and I’m a cheek-aholic too.
It’s the saddest day when they won’t let you do that again. I tell mine, I’m going to eat their cheeks. They don’t really find it so funny anymore. That’s why I had the baby, for new cheeks to eat.
Comment by Issa — November 11, 2008 @ 10:57 am
When they give me a hard time about kisses I just sit on them and get what I want.
Comment by above average joe — November 11, 2008 @ 6:42 pm
Keep hope alive!
The formerly repulsed twin-victims of my cheek-a-holism — now, either by maturation or sheer resignation — accept sans complaint the bestowal of mashy, slobbery kisses upon my every instigation!
In truth, yesterday, THEY ASKED FOR IT!
(They’re seven now…so my advice to you is stay the course….or maybe deprive him for a while….he’ll come back…they always do!)
Hang in there, Daddy!
Comment by Cheryl — November 12, 2008 @ 9:40 am
I wonder where he picked up the “yuck” thing… and rubbing his face into the carpet is so extreme. He could be imitating some cartoon shenanigans. Give him a good ol’ fashioned indian burn and tell him he can pick between the kisses or the burn!!
Comment by Ryan — November 12, 2008 @ 7:47 pm