TheMonk, in his 3.75 years has never shown much of an interest in the fairer sex. My theory is that he’s already got a girl to hang out with 24/7 why does he need another one? (Swee’Pea, on the other hand, has already has her first love squarely in her sights.)

Being a typical guy, TheMonk has fallen for a younger woman. She’s two. And, as TheMonk tells me repeatedly, she’s “The Cutiest.” She’s about 2 feet tall, clutches her stuffed Ming-Ming doll wherever she goes and has the cutest little voice ever. She’s also Asian which is awesome because it gives me hope that TheMonk will marry an Asian woman someday and I’ll have totally beautiful grandchildren that will be more diverse than the united colors of Benetton.

Anyway, I have seen TheMonk interact with this little cutie off and on for the past couple of months as we always seem to be going home from daycare at the same time. A few weeks back, he actually planted a big old kiss on her cheek as we were leaving. He was smooth about it too. One second they’re laughing about the word “poopy head” and the next second he’s swooping in for a smooch.

Since that day, however, it’s been hit and miss for TheMonk. Some days they just laugh at each other and call each other names. This week, however, the little cutie actually tried several times in a 30 second window to plant her own hug and smooch on TheMonk’s face. Unfortunately, TheMonk was too busy explaining to anyone who would listen the intricacies of celestial travel (“Airplanes don’t crash into stars because the stars are really, really high.”) to notice these advances.

It was after witnessing this latest casualty that I decided that it might be time for me to impart some wisdom when it comes to interacting with the fairer sex. After all, I come with credentials. Almost 20 years ago, I was voted “biggest flirt” of the Class of ’89 so I figure it’s time to impart a few pointers to the boy.

So, I did what any dad of the the web 2.0 generation would do. I broke out the video camera.

And, after viewing this video, you’ll agree that my work is done.