It’s been 38 years and I still haven’t figured out girls
I’ve always wanted a little girl. I knew what I’d name her, that she’d hold my hand wherever we went and love her Daddy with all of her heart. I’d have a sweet little girl who was as delicate as a flower for me to nurture and protect.
Four and a half years into parenthood later, I can tell you that all of that is true. Except the delicate part. My little girl is not the delicate flower I imagined. No, she’s got a mean stubborn streak that makes me smile when I think of her future husband who, at this very moment, is probably eating paste in pre-school, not knowing the horror that awaits his fate.
Even at four years old, my daughter baffles me. Take getting dressed, for instance. I could hand her brother a garbage bag and some duct tape and he’d put it one without complaint. I choose a dress that even hints at being “not pretty enough” and I have to go to battle with Swee’Pea the entire morning. Of course, she’ll scream, cry, kick, wail and flail until she’s red in the face but five minutes later she’s laughing and joking and making fart jokes with her brother.
And I’m left scratching my head. (Note to self: May have figured out why I’m going bald so quickly)
At every stage of my life, from as early as I can remember thinking about girls, I have been baffled. Does she like me or doesn’t she? Does she want me to open the door for her or not? Do I really tell her if her butt looks big in those jeans? (Learned the hard way on that one. Definitely not.) And finally, “What do you want to wear today, Swee’Pea?” is not that easy of a question.
Someday, I hope to have girls figured out. Perhaps by the time I turn 92. Or I won’t care by then which will be just fine too.
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Oh I have excellent mom of a 4 year old advice – let her choose herself between two you old up for choice. That is the choice – tomorrow there is no turning back or changing. Works so well for us.
Great to meet you and greetings from the l;and of rhinos.
Comment by cat — November 3, 2009 @ 5:12 am
Wow…I think you just described my 4 year old daughter too! My son is already to the point of looking through his clothes hamper to find a moderately “less dirty” shirt. My daughter wants to be pretty…and once she’s done getting dressed, she wants to wrestle. I don’t get her at all. I don’t even think her mother understands her!
Comment by Dan Smith — November 3, 2009 @ 7:39 am
I AM a girl and I can’t figure my daughter out either.
But it does make me feel sorry for what I must have put my mother through. I also feel sorry for my husband.
Comment by Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah — November 3, 2009 @ 10:21 am
Ditto what Sarah said. My 5YO girl is a total mystery some days that can only be solved by a bedazzler and puffy paints.
Comment by Nancy — November 3, 2009 @ 2:33 pm
Advice from a grandmother. Pick out two or three appropriate outfits and let her choose. And don’t worry if she decides to wear green polka dot tights with an orange striped dress. Her taste will eventually improve and in the long run it really doesn’t matter.
Comment by jwg — November 3, 2009 @ 9:57 pm
Tell her to buy her own clothes.
And when all else fails, accessorize!
Comment by Deanna — November 4, 2009 @ 10:43 am
Oh see there in lies the problem. You just don’t ask. Or you give her two choices. Ha. I am mean.
No, really though, try getting her to pick out her clothes the night before. Just set the rule that she can’t change her mind in the morning. Women don’t make any sense in the morning. not even four year olds.
Four is like thirteen. Or so I’ve been told.
Comment by Issa — November 4, 2009 @ 3:20 pm
we go through the “not pretty enough” all the time. With both of my girls. GAH.
I love that I throw Josh his clothes and he just puts them on without any sort of argument.
Comment by ali — November 6, 2009 @ 7:38 am