April 10, 2006

Weekend Update

This was a banner weekend at the Childsplayx2 household. We actually took at least one of the twins out on both Saturday and Sunday.

On Saturday, TheMonk and I went to my Y*M*C*Ato see the Healthy Kids Day activities our Y was hosting. TheMonk got his face painted and was fawned over by every childcare worker we have. At first, he wasn’t sure by all of the attention. His look was so serious that his cheeks seemed even chubbier than usual, leading one of my staff to say that he looked like a “little Godfather.” I had to laugh, because it was so true. After a while, however, he warmed up and we had a great afternoon. TheMonk started babbling non-stop (showing off to the pretty girls, I’m sure) until we finally had to head on home.

On Sunday, the whole family packed up and headed to the church where we will be getting them baptized, figuring it would be nice to actually attend a mass at the church since we’ve never attended that one. Again, TheMonk wanted to talk after getting warmed up. Luckily, it was muffled by his binky and it wasn’t too loud. Swee’Pea also got into the act by letting out an occasional shriek. Overall, however, they behaved beautifully.

After mass, we headed to the mall to get them some baptism clothes. I suggested bathing suits, but Andrea wasn’t too sure. So, we picked up a little white dress for Swee’Pea and a cute little suit for TheMonk. Stay tuned for photos.

The greatest thing about this trip is that Swee’Pea got the front seat in the stroller (she’s usually too shy to be comfortable in the front seat) and she LOVED it. She was swinging her feet and waving to everyone who passed. Being the typical big brother, TheMonk kept trying to reach forward and pull Swee’Pea’s hair. But, overall, it was a great time.

The other great thing that happened this weekend is that our dear friends Chris and Kristie volunteered to baby sit while Andrea and I went out. I know. I’m nominating them for sainthood in the near future. They can be the patron saints of twin parents. Anyway, Andrea and I enjoyed a dinner out followed by some coffee at Starbucks. The conversation was great and we only talked about the twins 85% of the time. Not bad. Although, you know you’ve been preoccupied when you can no longer remember your age.

Me: “I can’t believe I’m going to be 35 in a few months. Thirty-five! Where did that come from?!”
Andrea: “You’re going to be 35?”
Me: “Yep. And you’re going to be XX*”
Andrea: “I am? No, I’m not!”
Me: “Yes, you are. You’re X years younger than me. You were born in 19XX. That means you’re going to be XX.”
Andrea: “Wow.”

So, as you can see, we need to get out more often. If only to keep track of our age!

*The author wishes to remain sleeping in his bed. The couch is not nearly as comfortable. Therefore, his wife’s age will not be revealed in this post.

March 22, 2006

Techno-Geniuses

I’m not a guy who understands electronic devices very well. It takes me a while to program the DVD player and configuring my wireless router was an adventure that ended in swallowing my pride by calling in reinforcements.

So, you know I’m in trouble when I give my children the TV and DVD remotes to play with and it takes me 10 minutes to figure out how to undo whatever they did to make the picture on the television screen disappear.

No more remote control playing for the twins. I’m giving them the phone only from now on. Of course that might change after our next phone bill. For all I know, they’re crank calling Bangladesh.

March 20, 2006

Gag me with a diaper

First, let me say that I have a horrible sense of smell. I never knew this would come in handy until I started changing diapers. Just by the look of things, I can tell just how lucky I am to not be blown over by the odoriferous eminations coming from each Huggies. In fact, I have yet to be totally repulsed by anything I’ve seen to date. Granted, we haven’t introduced the kids to meats or even exotic vegetables yet but, so far so good.

Until this morning.

TheMonk has a stomach virus and he vomited enough times yesterday where the advice nurse had me take him to the local Children’s Hospital to get him checked out. He was finally able to keep down some pedialyte and that became his source of nourishment for the rest of the night. This morning, a much-improved TheMonk was hungry and ready for some breast milk. He nursed ravenously and everything was good. Until I picked him up to move him to another room.

The odor hit me like a sledgehammer. The stench was so bad I thought I saw fumes rising from his little butt.

He smiled at me and I tried to smile back but it’s hard to smile and gag at the same time. Proving my love for my son yet once more, I maneuvered him to the diaper-changing table and was resigned to changing the diaper myself (Andrea, the lucky woman, was in the shower). Holding my breath, I carefully peeled away the diaper. A cloud of viscous odor rose up towards the heavens. The paint on the wall beside us started to peel. My eyes started to water. I looked over at TheMonk and, oblivious to the smell, was cooing away softly. I then glanced down at the diaper and was shocked at what I saw. It was bright, flourescent-red!* MY GOD, IT’S TOXIC WASTE! OH MAN, OH MAN, OH MAN. Lord, please help me in my time of need.

I quickly grabbed a handful of baby wipes and started wiping furiously, hoping to end the nasal assault as quickly as possible. Once I no longer saw any red, I wrapped up the diaper and threw it into the diaper bin and closed the lid with a bang. I glanced over at TheMonk once again as I panted from exertion and a lack of oxygen. The hairs lining my nose were now curled and slightly tinged. I wiped away the tears from my eyes and finished dressing TheMonk.

I have tried to resume my day. I have tried to pretend like my life is the same. But, in truth, my life will never be the same – not knowing that there is a smell out there as bad as that. For the rest of the day, all I have smelled is that odor. It clings to me like a bad first-date. I keep washing my hands, face, hair, and THE SMELL JUST WON’T GO AWAY. It won’t. Right now, I write this and you are secondary as the smell permeates my mind and, I’m sure, is currently eating away at my brain. Please…

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, MAKE THE SMELL GO AWAY!

*It turns out he had a burst capillary that caused his poop to go red. Everything is okay now.

February 25, 2006

Proof that my kids are cute…

Blogging Baby has chosen TheMonk and Swee’Pea’s Valentine’s Day picture as it’s picture of the day today.

There’s more where that came from! We just downloaded 10 more cute photos on the right, take a look.*

*Childsplayx2.com takes no responsibility should you not be able to handle the cuteness factor while viewing pictures of TheMonk and Swee’Pea. Please consult your physician should you feel you are about to OD on cuteness.

February 14, 2006

Happy Valentine’s Day Sweetie

Sweetie,

By now you’ve been treated to a day’s worth of TheMonk & Swee’Pea Valentine pics. Your co-workers were very nice in helping scatter these photos around the office and I’m looking forward to hearing just how they surprised you with them throughout the day. I know you’ll probably be a little embarrassed but I hope you know that I wanted to share with everyone how much I love you and how much our little ones love you too.

It’s been an amazing year. Last year, I gave you little TheMonk and Swee’Pea onesies and we draped them across your gigantic belly. It has gone by so fast but this last year has been the best year ever. Thank you for being such a wonderful mother and for going through this parenthood thing with me. We’re learning each day how to work as a team and I know TheMonk and Swee’Pea will benefit from the closeness we share. Can you believe we made these two?

Me either.

Valentine’s Day has brought on a new meaning and it’s a reminder that I thought I knew what love was prior to having these munchkins. I didn’t have a clue. All I know is that through loving these babies so much, I have grown to love you even more.

If that were even possible.

Happy Valentine’s Day Sweetheart – from your husband, your son and your daughter. We love you.

JT and Bri Kiss

January 17, 2006

Chef Baby-Ar-Dee

Now that we’re starting solids we have decided that while the pre-made baby food is just fine, it would be fun (and less expensive) if we made our own. So, I have been slaving away in the kitchen the past few nights perfecting my recipes, knowing I have to appeal to the most discriminating of palates – TheMonk and Bri’s.

I am proud to say that my hard work has paid off. I have created some absolute masterpieces (if I do say so myself). I am also keenly aware that some of you out there may not be as skillful in the kitchen as I am. Nor would you have the time or energy to concoct the perfect recipes based on trial and error. So, my friends, fear not. I am only too glad to share with you these recipes. It gives me great pleasure to know that these recipes will be passed down to future generations and provide nourishment for children for years to come. So, without further ado, here are my recipes. You might want to get a pen and paper or get your printer ready.

Bananas
1) Take very ripe bananas
2) Put in blender
3) Puree

Peaches

1) Slice peaches and throw away the pit.
2) Steam peaches
3) Put in blender
4) Puree

Pears
1) Slice pears and throw away the core
2) Steam pears
3) Put in blender
4) Puree

Squash
1) Slice squash after throwing out seeds
2) Steam squash
3) Remove outer rind
4) Put the rest in blender
5) Puree

Pour each puree into ice cube trays and freeze overnight. Put them in ziploc freezer bags and label and date them. This is crucial as it all looks pretty similar when they pop out of the trays.

I know what you’re thinking. You are in awe of my culinary skills. Don’t be intimidated by my vast knowledge of baby food. Instead, take advantage of all that I am passing along. In fact, feel free to spread these recipes far and wide. This is my gift to the human race.

You’re welcome.

December 8, 2005

Dead or Alive?

It’s a new kind of scary when you look into your 6-month-old son’s crib in the morning to find him lying on his stomach for the first time. And it wasn’t a comfortable, “I’m just sleeping”, lying on the stomach. No, it looked like a body found on the streets of one of the many television crime shows on nowadays.

Needless to say I quickly checked for vitals. However that was unecessary when TheMonk turned to look at me. His look said, “What? Can’t you see I’m sleeping here?”

December 1, 2005

Random Baby Moments

A few snapshots of the past couple of weeks…

Andrea is holding Swee’Pea and I notice she is looking at Swee’Pea’s forehead. I comment, “Hey did you notice she has one hair that is longer than the others? It’s so much longer it extends down her forehead.”

“Yeah, I see that.” Andrea replied.

“You want me to get some scissors to cut it?” I ask.

“No, we can’t cut her bang!” Says Andrea.

______________________________________________

Like any father that is married to a pediatric physical therapist, I have been making sure the babies get plenty of tummy time. I usually play with them, shoving their favorite toys in front of their face and then get them to try and reach for them. As the weeks have gone on, I have become more confident and I’ve been working with both TheMonk and Swee’Pea at the same time. I’ll usually get one going with some toys in front of them and then go to the other to play. Eventually, I’ll switch to the other baby.

Recently, TheMonk has figured out how to lay comfortably on his belly, with his head to the side so he can breathe. So now, whenever I leave him to start playing with Swee’Pea, after a short while I’ll look over and TheMonk will look like he’s passed out after too much to drink. He’ll lie there comfortably with his thumb in his mouth, off in his own little world. I’ll jolt him back to reality by going over and attempting to re-engage him. Often times he looks up at me with a look that says, “Hey, lifting this big noggin is hard work! I need to rest!”

_______________________________________________

You know you’re getting older when…

After lying next to the bouncy chair and gently rocking your baby to sleep, they startle awake when all of your joints start cracking as you get off the floor.

October 14, 2005

The Traveling Circus

Last weekend we took the show on the road, so to speak. My family was holding a little reunion and we decided it was high time these babies traveled farther than the doctor’s office so we loaded up the truck and we moved to Beverly headed to the airport.

Actually, we loaded up our neighbor’s truck. You see, we were kinda caught off guard with the whole “having two babies at once” thing, so we don’t own a vehicle large enough to hold more cargo than the space shuttle. In fact, during our regularly scheduled strategic planning sessions for this particular trip (yes, my wife grew up in a military family) we thought it would be wise to rent an SUV upon arrival in this far away land. How else would we be able to schlep around our Double Stroller, Pack-n-Play, suitcase for us, suitcase for babies, diaper bag, breast pump, and whatever else we could find around the house that we “might need”?

In fact, I went around for a couple of days thinking I was pretty damn smart for having the foresight to rent the SUV. It was only about a week before we left that it dawned on me that while, yes we were getting an SUV once we arrived in this Far Away Land, we did not own an SUV here. Damn. So now we had to figure out how we would be getting all this crap much needed baby stuff to the airport. At first we were going to take two cars (and pay for both to be parked in the long term parking) until I mentioned to our neighbor just how idiotic I was and he so kindly offered the services of his truck. Problem solved.

So, the cargo was taken care of. Now we had to prepare for the actual getting on the plane and flying part. Did you know that if you have two babies and you plan to sit them on your laps for the plane ride and the plane has three seats on each side, you cannot sit together because whoever designs airplanes obviously doesn’t have twins? This person who designs airplanes and does not have twins only thought to add one extra oxygen maskto each row. So, if we sat in two seats and some poor unsuspecting fool sat next to us, there would only be four oxygen masks for five people. Now, some could make the argument that if you’re stupid enough to sit in the same aisle as two neurotic parents and their almost-four-month-old babies, you don’t deserve an oxygen mask in the first place. However, the good people at Southwest did not buy that argument so we did the next best thing – we bought three seats.

Once we made it to the airport we checked everything in but the stroller, infant seats the babies were strapped into, the diaper bag, one carry-on bag, and Andrea’s breastpump. We arrived at the security checkpoint and they informed us that we would have to put everything through the x-ray machine. So we spent the next few minutes extracting babies from seats, collapsing the double stroller, removing shoes, and putting everything we had into those depressing little gray plastic bins. Luckily for us half of the TSA agents on duty converged on us to assist. They looked like a mini Nascar pit crew with the way they moved. Once through the checkpoint and everything was reloaded and we checked to make sure we hadn’t left anything behind, we proceeded to our gate. After arriving at our gate and hearing an announcement over the loudspeaker, Andrea rushed back to the screening area to retrieve her sweater that had been left behind. This was not a good sign for things to come.

While Andrea was rushing to retrieve her sweater, I began getting everything ready. People looked on in amusement as I pulled one baby out of the infant seat and placed him/her (who can remember?) into a Snugli strapped to my chest. After a few minutes of struggling a nice woman came to my rescue and began helping me break things down. Soon enough Andrea returned and with the help of the Southwest flight attendant we boarded the plane. We had planned on checking both infant carriers at the gate but we were a bit rushed and I let the flight attendant talk me into taking one of the carriers on the plane since we had three seats. This turned out to be a mistake since this effectively took away our extra space. Somehow we made it through and Swee’Pea only cried briefly as the plane took off. The Binkies once again came to our rescue as the sucking helped relieve the pressure in their ears. Once in flight they both fell asleep in our arms.

After landing we waited until everyone deboarded the plane before attempting to get all of our stuff. The stroller was waiting for us outside the plane door and we proceeded to load babies into this along with all of our carry-on stuff. A flight attendant helped us off the plane and once we were loaded up, I asked “Did we get everything?” The flight attendant replied, “Yes, I got it all.” So, we proceeded to the baggage claim. A few hours and a few phone calls later I had to make a trip back to the airport to pick up the breast pump we had left on the plane. Apparently we did not get everything.

So, the time we spent in far away land was short and sweet. We left on a Friday and returned on a Sunday. It was great seeing family and the twin’s cousin Tommy. Many photos were taken by all.

It was also great to expose the little ones to more excitement than what shirt Daddy is wearing today. TheMonk, in particular, loved all the sights and sounds of the airport and you could just see the guy soaking up everything around him. The fact that he didn’t take any real naps the entire weekend and slept for hours when we returned showed just how interested he was in everything.

The return home was pretty tame except to say that we missed the TSA agents from our home airport. The TSA agents from the Far Away Land airport just watched us as we struggled to get all the gear broken down while simultaneously holding two babies. May all these people spend an eternity in airport security hell.

So, we survived. But if family wants to see these babies over the holidays, they’re gonna have to come to us!

October 11, 2005

Whew!

In just two and a half weeks, I will be taking a five week leave from work to stay at home with the twins while Andrea returns to work. Coincidentally, this also happens to be the time that the parenting books recommend weaning babies from their pacifiers. Andrea had been mentioning this lately and while I publicly agreed that we needed to rid these babies of their dependence on baby crack pacifiers, I secretly dreaded it.

Just the thought of having to put the babies to sleep without their crack binkies brought chills to my spine.

So then, imagine my surprise when I opened up Monday’s paper to read that pediatricians now say that babies should continue to use baby crack binkies to sleep through the first year to reduce the risk of SIDS. I couldn’t put my coffee down fast enough. I rushed upstairs to point this out to Andrea.

I mean, I wouldn’t want to put the babies at risk by denying them their crack binkies. Their well-being is at stake!

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