Ready for Some Football?
As I got TheMonk situated on the couch this morning, I explained to him what the day was going to be like.
“Today we’re going to watch football, Monk.” I said as I absent mindedly waved his pacifier around in the air as I spoke. “We’re gonna be MEN! We’re not gonna bathe and we’re gonna eat all day long.” (Well, he gets to eat all day long every day, but I look forward to it)
As I spoke, I continued to jab the pacifier in the air for emphasis. “Today, we’re gonna root for Terrell Owens and Cadillac Williams in the morning and Drew Brees and LaDanian Tomlinson in the evening, okay? And remember, we’re gonna sit around and eat and drink. Why? Because we’re men!”
At that, TheMonk cannot take it any longer. The pacifier has been dangling in front of him for too long. In my excitement to share this male bonding with my 3 month old son I hadn’t noticed that he was growing disturbed. Suddenly, he begins to cry. I look at the pacifier in my hand.
“Oh, here you go.” as I pop it into his mouth.
TheMonk calms down and begins sucking furiously.
“Okay,” I say, “We can be men with a binky.”
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That’s right, Dude. Binkys are very manly until about 18 months. Suck on, little Dude. (okay, that sounded a little gross. sorry.)
Comment by MIM — September 26, 2005 @ 11:35 am
We don’t actually change that much, do we?
Comment by Keith — September 26, 2005 @ 12:47 pm
I’m picturing you waving that thing in front of the poor kid’s nose while you wax lyrical about the joys of football. LOL Watch it, or he’ll associate the sport with deprivation and have this inexplicable loathing of it his whole adult life – stemming from this very moment.
Comment by Mary — September 26, 2005 @ 2:06 pm
That was a beautiful post — right up to the point where you made it clear you were rooting against my beloved G-men. To paraphrase Lt. Joe Cable in South Pacific:
“You’ve got to be taught/ Before it’s too late/ Before you’re six or seven or eight/ To hate the teams our parents hate.”
Comment by Not-For-Profit Dad — September 26, 2005 @ 5:22 pm
Nice one.
I watched the Seahawks with my lil’ K and she lasted a whole hour before getting restless. Of course, I wasn’t trying to get her to be a ‘man,’ but knowing a corner back from a running back is something every girl/woman should know anyway.
Comment by tod — September 26, 2005 @ 7:24 pm
I imagined reading it like it was a Knute Rockne speech. Good post.
Comment by Marty — September 26, 2005 @ 7:36 pm
(Metrodad will refrain from commenting due to the fact that his beloved Giants got spanked by LT and the Chargers. Woe am I in the Land of Big Blue.)
Comment by MetroDad — September 26, 2005 @ 8:13 pm
hilarious post! reminds me of this one time when i was in the process of feeding syd but was distracted with people. she was following the spoon with her mouth open every time it swung past her.
Comment by jungs — September 26, 2005 @ 9:40 pm
While I admit, I was rooting for the Chargers, nowadays I root more for the players on my fantasy team than I do teams.
I must confess I haven’t liked the Giants since Jim Burt knocked Joe Montana into oblivion in 1990. Yeah, I hold sports grudges. Don’t even get me started about Jose Oquendo.
Comment by Matthew — September 26, 2005 @ 10:31 pm
I said (in front of my in-laws no less) “No guys, we watch your shows all week long. On Sundays Mommy watches football.” Then I try to distract them by saying things in a very excited voice “Look kids! It’s Jon Gruden! Look, Terry Bradshaw is doing 10 yards with TB!” “Guys, look at Cadillac run!” and of course “oooh, Brett Favre just said the F word. Do you kiss your mother with that mouth old man?”
Comment by Sarah — September 27, 2005 @ 5:22 am
By Football I assume you mean the American Variety…not Footbal/Soccer or Football/Rugby or Football/Australian?
Comment by Aginoth — September 27, 2005 @ 5:29 am
I would sport a pacifier myself if the Titans would get it together…
Comment by Busy Mom — September 27, 2005 @ 9:30 am
Comment by Corinne — September 27, 2005 @ 12:52 pm
[...] Last week Blogging Baby picked up my post about Jonathan and I watching football. One of the comments the Blogging Baby post got was from “Uncle Roger” who outlined his distaste for sports and what they represent (Mock Combat?). [...]
Pingback by Childs Play x2 — Because having one just wasn’t enough. » Sports Talk — October 5, 2005 @ 1:26 pm