September 27, 2007

If you look closely, you’ll see Jimmy Hoffa

So, I was cleaning up the living room yesterday.

Obviously I had not been doing a very thorough job as I glanced under the coffee table to find… a few items. Click on the photo to see some explanations of the items found under the table.


If you look closely, you can see Jimmy Hoffa

September 26, 2007

Through the eyes of babes

TheMonk has always been interested in anything having to do with electronics. Lately, he’s had his eye on Daddy’s very nice digital camera. This morning, in an effort to distract him while I got him and sister ready to leave for daycare, I handed him my camera, showed him what button to push and how to look through the view finder. He took to it faster than I would have thought. The part that really sucks is that if I was totally honest I’d have to admit that his photos are better than mine.

But judge for yourself. I give you… Photos By Monk.


September 25, 2007

They are 1/4 Mexican

Tonight, Swee’Pea and TheMonk were introduced to sushi – and all it’s accoutrements.

It didn’t start out as an introduction to sushi. Swee’Pea and TheMonk sat down to a meal of teriyaki chicken and rice while Mommy ate her Mexican Taco sushi roll and Daddy ate his Banana & Shrimp sushi roll (Hey, it’s southern California – our sushi is just different).

Before long, both Swee’Pea and TheMonk expressed a strong interest in what we were eating. I didn’t want to share so I wolfed down my banana roll as quickly as possible. I know. I’m a giver.

Mommy, however, has not yet developed her sushi-hoarding skills. However, her sushi was spicy so I think she figured Swee’Pea and TheMonk wouldn’t like it. Upon first tasting the spiciness of Mommy’s sushi sauce both Swee’Pea and TheMonk had similar reactions.

Bug Eyes followed by a quick trip to the sippy cup.

But no tears.

In fact, after they got over the initial shock, the spice was not big thing. Swee’Pea, in particular, was particularly enamored with the spice. She soon found out about the pickled ginger and kept asking for more of the “spicy pink.” She soon finished off the entire heap of ginger.

TheMonk, while eating an occasional slice of pickled ginger, was more of a “sweet” guy as he made sure to finish up his teriyaki chicken. It fits since he’s such a sweet boy.

Swee’Pea, on the other hand, has proven she is every bit as spicy as her taste.

Maybe I should change her name to “Spicy’Pea.”

September 23, 2007

This is your father you’re talking about

I am feeding Swee’Pea and TheMonk their vegetables during dinner. Swee’Pea is in a playful mood and pretends to be asleep every time I turn my attention to her. Since it looks like fun, I pretend to be asleep too. Swee’Pea gets a kick out of this and we both begin to pretend we are asleep. Neither of us are very good at it, however, as we keep catching each other with one eye open.

To have a little fun, I start making silly faces every time I catch Swee’Pea with her one eye open.

Swee’Pea, however, is not having this.

“No, Daddy. No being silly.”

Um, Sweetie, I hate to break this to you but this is your Daddy you’re talking to.

I’m afraid you’ll just have to get used to the silliness.

Silliness

September 20, 2007

And now I’m a butt kisser

TheMonk, in typical boy fashion, rolled off the couch today and landed squarely on his bottom. The bad news is that his bottom hit a toy and the pain radiated up his little body and out his mouth in a very vocal scream.

I ran over and scooped him up and asked where his “owie” was. He pointed to his posterior and I started to rub it to make him feel better.

Rubbing it, however, wasn’t good enough. This was a serious injury that required the best possible remedy in our household. Something that makes all injuries disappear at an instance.

“KISS IT!” he screamed.

“KISS MY OWIE! KISS IT, DADDY!”

*Sigh* This is another thing they don’t tell you about before you have kids.

September 18, 2007

A bag a day keeps the doctor away

I have been known to be lazy at times (insert snicker of my wife here). My clothes don’t always make it to the hamper, crumbs sometimes remain on a counter long after the toast has been buttered and I purposefully buy slip-on dress shoes so I don’t have to bother with tying them.

If you asked me, I might be coaxed into admitting these indiscretions but I wouldn’t necessarily call myself lazy. In fact I do have my moments where I’m a machine of action. For instance I will change a diaper whenever it’s needed because I know I wouldn’t necessarily enjoy sitting around in my own urine or feces so I imagine it’s not pleasant for Swee’Pea and TheMonk either. I unload the dishwasher when it calls, I make pancakes for breakfast every weekend, and I will go grocery shopping as soon as the last packet of Top Ramen is consumed.

But lately I have done something that makes me ashamed to be a part of the human race. In fact it is so blatantly lazy that I am ashamed to even admit this to you right now. But they say confession is good for the soul and I need some serious soul cleansing after this transgression.

Are you ready?

Okay, here it goes.

I have been buying apples that are already sliced.

And I like them.

I mean, how lazy can I be?! Apples don’t even need to be sliced to eat them! They are the king of fruits for all lazy bastards everywhere and I have to have them sliced?!

I tried convincing myself that I was doing it for the kids but deep down in my soul I knew it was for me. But I tell you, there’s nothing that takes you back to nature like tearing open a plastic bag full of sliced apple.

Go ahead and mock me if you will but I will not repent! I love my apples and you cannot stop me from enjoying fruit the way God intended – you know, coated in ascorbic acid to keep them deliciously fresh for an inordinate amount of time.

September 17, 2007

Peek into our whirlwind lives

It seems the nice people at Parents Magazine named my little corner of the blogosphere as one of their “favorite blogs.” The October issue lists five of their favorite “Daddy blogs” and somehow, Swee’Pea and TheMonk made the cut.

Here’s what they had to say about this blog:

Matthew is obsessed with his toddler twins, “TheMonk” and “Swee’Pea,” and, believe us, you’ll soon get addicted to this peek into their whirlwind lives.

So I’m obsessed. I’m not sure how I feel about that. I mean, a national magazine calls you obsessed and how, I ask, do I live this down? Is it okay to be obsessed? Is it okay that the first thing I think about when I wake up is Swee’Pea and TheMonk? (I mean, sure, a lot of the time it’s because they’re screaming from their cribs but I AM thinking about them.) Okay. Maybe I AM a little obsessed. But I can’t help it. They’re cute as hell.

Then there’s the matter of the other “favorite blogs” of Parent’s Magazine. Let me put it this way. Have you ever seen Sesame Street where they play the “One of these things is not like the other” game? I kinda feel that way about the blogs I’m with. I mean, these are royalty of Dad Blogs and then there’s little old me. You have DaddyTypes (the very first Daddy Blog I ever ran across), MetroDad (a total stud), Alternadad, Maybebaby and ME. But my mother taught me never to look a gift horse in the mouth (she didn’t really teach me that, but just go with me here) so I’m not going to worry about it.

And if you are visiting for the very first time, feel free to leave a comment and say hi. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go obsess over my kids.

September 14, 2007

Yes, again…

Okay, I know this may sound familiar, but…

Has anyone seen the remote?

Seriously.

September 13, 2007

“Right Now”

We all have verbal crutches. Speaking The Queen’s English is not always an easy thing. For example, some of us say “um”, others will, like, use the word “like” a lot and then there’s the ever-popular, “You know what I’m sayin’?” You know what I’m sayin?

Anyway, as Swee’Pea has developed her impressive verbal skills and she begins stringing more and more words into longer and longer sentences, she’s become attached to the phrase “right now.”

The interesting part is that she never says it as a demand. It’s more a statement or clarification of fact.

“What are you eating right now?”
“I like that right now.”
“Where is Mommy right now?”

It is very cute and, I must admit, I’ve encouraged it a little bit by repeating her sentences, making sure to use the “right now” so she’ll repeat if for me.

“Where is Mommy right now?” I’ll repeat back.

“Yeah. Where’s Mommy right now?” She’ll say.

I know. I’m bad. So if she doesn’t make the debate team in high school, I’m the one to blame.

September 12, 2007

Football Weekend

Monk FootballThis weekend was the opening weekend of the NFL. I like football. A lot. As a father I have done my part to pass on that love for football with my kids. Two years ago, we sang and watched a lot of football. Last year was still fairly easy to watch a football game as they were only a year old and naps lasted at least three quarters – or the length of time the Buccaneers thought they were contenders this year.

So, now that we’re in the regular season, I’m going to do my fatherly duty by sharing my love for football with both Swee’Pea and TheMonk. TheMonk isn’t going to be difficult to convince that football is fun. He already has the touchdown signal down from last year and this year we’ve added to it by yelling out, “Touchdown, Chargers!”

Add to the excitement that I am currently in a fantasy football league with some of my favorite bloggers. And this week I’m going up against my sister-in-blog who also has twins, the lovely but not so good at fantasy football, Sarah.

Yep. Life is good. An easy win and some quality time with my kids.

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